WorldCon's been nothing if not distracting. I've managed to go hours at a time without thinking about stuff about my father, or about other difficult things going on.
But in case anyone's wondering, a couple days ago, my brother Jay posted some updates about the trial, life insurance, the house, etc. Jay's been much more involved in all that than I have; I admire his strength in coping with it all. I've been pretty much hiding from it; partly in general denial, partly just not wanting to think about all the details of things that have to be deal with.
This weekend's been another case where I haven't known who's known what. People've been good about asking me how I'm doing (thanks, y'all!)—but often, in people who I'm not sure know what's been up, lacking that special inflection that indicates they know there's more than the usual stuff going on. (Thanks to those who've mentioned explicitly that they read my journal; that removes a great deal of ambiguity and uncertainty from my interactions these days.) (And of course with most of the people I've been hanging out with this weekend, I already know they know; I've mostly only been uncertain, in this regard, around those I don't already know fairly well.) And regardless, I haven't felt up to talking about most of this stuff in the WorldCon context—in the middle of the energy and excitement of a con (ideas flying fast, far-ranging discussions of speculative fiction), talking about my father would've really put a damper on things. So I've refrained.
Not sure where I was going with this. No coherent conclusions, certainly. More thoughts, probably on other topics, later.