It feels weird and awkward to juxtapose tonight's three entries, on unrelated but important subjects. I'm sorry about that. But I need to write all three.
This morning was Nancy's sentencing hearing, in Tacoma. I didn't fly up for it. I'm pretty sure that was the right decision.
Sunday night Lola came over to keep me company. We had dinner at Pasand (comfort food for me), and then watched Bend It Like Beckham, which Lola hadn't seen before. It was as charming the second time as it had been the first.
I was nonetheless pretty tense afterward; stayed up late, then took NyQuil and Valerian to help me sleep. But to my surprise, I slept better and longer than I have in the past couple weeks.
I kept my phone turned off through the morning and didn't check email; I tried not to think too much about what was going on up north. After some breakfast and a quiet morning with Lola, I checked messages, and learned that (not unexpectedly) Nancy had accepted the offered plea bargain and had received the maximum sentence, about 31 years with no possibility of getting out early. (Thank you, Paul and Jay, for letting me know, and I'm sorry I couldn't cope with calling either of you back to talk about it. I hope to talk with both of you soon.)
I will probably say a fair bit more about this in the days and weeks to come, but that's all for now.
We went and soaked in a hot tub for a while, and walked through downtown Palo Alto in the warm sunshine. We stopped and looked at iPod nanos, which are indeed astonishingly small and cute. It all felt a little unreal, but also very calming/soothing/centering, especially the warm water and the warm sunshine. We had a very late lunch at Chili's, then came home and I read submissions for a while.
There was an undercurrent of tension throughout the day, but I had decided to focus on keeping myself as relaxed and comforted as possible, and Lola helped with that, and I was surprisingly even-keeled all day. (I even briefly considered going to work after all—I had arranged to take the day off—but decided I wasn't quite on top of things enough to manage that.)
Even-keeled, that is, until I checked my email one more time after finishing reading the week's submissions. See next entry.