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Haven't you always wanted a monkey (on a plane)?


Various news sources seem uncertain whether to treat the news of a man bringing a pygmy marmoset on a flight from Peru to NYC as a "major health scare" or as a silly news-of-the-weird piece.

But the reason I'm mentioning this item is because of two throwaway asides in articles about it.

First, from the New York Daily News's "Couldn't keep monkey biz under his hat":

Somehow [the man carrying the monkey] managed to avoid the eye of airline screeners at two airports.

Laura Uselding, a spokeswoman for the Transportation Security Administration, said that had the monkey been carrying weapons or explosives, an alarm would have triggered.

I'm glad to hear that our nation is safe from the horrific risk of tiny monkeys carrying explosives. Your tax dollars at work! (If you're an American, that is.)

Second, from WCBS-TV's "Major Health Scare After Monkey Sneaks Onto Plane":

Witnesses worried of an outbreak that could result from the monkey being out in the open. "There may be worse things that could happen--it could grow into one of those big ones," one passenger said.

From the context, I'm guessing that "it" refers to the health risk, or something. But my first thought on reading that was, "Yeah, I guess New York has had a problem with big monkeys in the past."


Wait a minute-Witnesses worried of an outbreak? Why would witnessing a monkey have to do with worrying about (or of) an outbreak? I mean, does actually seeing the monkey privilege the observer to knowing something, anything, that would lead me to take that worry seriously?

If they said Witnesses said the monkey was frothing at the mouth, then we've got something. If they said Witnesses claimed the monkey spoke in Aramaic, fine, we're in the realm of witnessing. But witnesses worried of an outbreak? Can we leave the outbreak-worrying to, I don't know, the CDC and Michael Crichton?

This is like (don't ask me how) when the local news the other day went from the anchor desk to a reporter who was—live!—standing in a city park to lead into a previously recorded report about an entirely different park in the city. Thanks, reporter! Your live park-standing really helped that story along, in a pig's eye!



A monkey on board a plane that is not the way it suppose to be. The monkey should of been with the other animals on that flight. In a cage and in a different area of the passangers. That was the stupiest thing that anyone should of done. I think thta I would be worried about getting a disease from the monkey. Security how in the hell did the monkey get past the security and did the monkey have to take it shoes off. Paula M. Gutowski

I don't think that a monkey should be on a plane with the other people. It should be put with the other animals in a cage out of the eye of the public. How stupid of sercurity to let the monkey go through and did the monkey have to take its shoes off. This is stupid. People get it together............ Paula M. Gutowski GClrdsprn@aol.com


Perhaps someone was worried about an outbreak of stupidity and absurd news coverage. I have had about enough of the m-----f--ing monkey on the m-----f---ing plane!

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