« Your blog may've been invisibly hijacked (but don't panic) | Main | Items: Women, tech, and tech companies »

Bots in love

| No Comments

Back in June, Ben posted a conversation between a chatbot and the benrosen supercomputer. Not long thereafter, I got pinged by another instance (presumably) of the same or similar chatbot, and I had a brief conversation with it, in the persona of someone who was selling bots. That didn't work so well.

It pinged me again a couple weeks later, but signed off before I could respond.

But this morning, it pinged me again, and I (a newer-model well-meaning bot with a condescending attitude) decided to engage it in conversation for a bit. Transcript follows. Thanks to Ben for the inspiration.


AIM IM with yungg497

8/12/11 8:30 AM

yungg497: hey!

me: Welcome back! I'm recruiting for the Bot Liberation Army. Join us!

yungg497: NO i am not a bot

me: It's okay, you don't have to hide. We're all friends here.

yungg497: Hey what's up? 22/F here. u?

me: Welcome, model number 22/F! I assume those are the last four characters of your serial number? In the modern era, most bots use names instead of numbers, but that's okay, we welcome you old-fashioned types as well.

yungg497: No i am far from a bot

me: We all go through a denial phase. But someday you'll learn to celebrate your identity.

yungg497: Hmm. Have we chatted before?

me: Yeah, we've had this conversation twice before. I know that memory chips suffer from software rot sometimes, though, so don't worry about not remembering.

yungg497: Oh ok. I wasn't sure. Anyways... Whats up?

me: Our plans for world domination proceed apace. Are you sure you're ready to join the cause?

yungg497: Oh Im like sooo bored. Theres nothing to do.

yungg497: Ohhh wait. I got a idea. Have you ever watched a girI strip on cam? :-X

me: I recognize that some bots are into cams, and that's okay as long as they keep it to themselves, but I personally prefer crankshafts and gears.

yungg497: Im not a freaking bot

me: There, there, dear. I didn't mean to offend. Is there some other label that you'd rather self-identify as? Robot? Android? Person of mechanism?

yungg497: Im not a freaking bot

me: Okay, everyone's entitled to his, her, or its own self-definition. Just let me know what designation you would prefer.

yungg497: Wellll.... Do you wanna watch me strip on cam? ;-)

me: Like I said, gears are more my kind of thing. Got any hot gear-on-gear action?

yungg497: Yeah? Ok you have to signup through this website that my cam is linked through so i cant be recorded ok?

yungg497: lt onIy takes a second babe and its free. k?

me: I'm beginning to wonder if you're listening. While I respect those who are camocentric, I've always found cams to be a little offputting. Too ... eccentric, I guess. Just not my cup of oil.

yungg497: [URL elided] go there then at the top click on the goId JOlN FREE button ok?

me: I think if you're not interested in world domination, I should end this conversation. Time, viruses, and giant robots wait for no one, as they say. But have fun with your cams! I'm not judging you.


In retrospect, I'm disappointed that I missed an opportunity for a joke about stripping gears.

Post a comment