Today's best spam starts out thusly:
Hello, my name is Jason Carter and I am an Internet Rankings Engineer. I performed a Google search for the keyword lab grown diamonds and upon perusing past the first page, i ran across your website www.kith.org. I see that your website is currently not listed on the first page for this keyword search.
OH NOES!!!!! MY SITE IS NOT LISTED ON THE FIRST PAGE OF RESULTS FOR LAB GROWN DIAMONDS!!!!! WHAT EVER SHALL I DO?
This explains why nobody is buying my lab grown diamonds. I'd better hire Jason forthwith.
(He actually included a local phone number in his email; I'm tempted to call him just to find out what he was thinking, but it's not worth my time.)
PS: I love the job title “Internet Rankings Engineer.”
PPS added later: I figured it out: I once posted a blog entry in which I talked briefly about lab-grown diamonds. So Jason's spambot is presumably contacting the owner of every page that appears in the search results for [lab grown diamonds] but that isn't on the first page. So it's not as random as I had thought, but it's still amusing.