Walking into a bar

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Someone recently pointed me to A Guy Goes into a Bar, a list of guy-walks-into-bar jokes. I figured they would probably be mostly dumb, but it turns out there are several clever puns, including a couple that I had to read a couple of times before I got (but that then made me laugh).

Some of my favorites from that page, considering only the ones I hadn't heard before:

  • A default Sans Serif font walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here!"
  • A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Do you want to play a game? See those two rib-eyes nailed to the ceiling? You get to throw one dart. If you hit one, you get to take them home and I'll give you a free drink." The man says, "No thanks, the steaks are too high."
  • A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. "What do you call that?", asks the bartender. "I call him Tiny, because he's my newt!"
  • Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"
  • A guy walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says, "You can come in, but don't start anything!"