I've previously posted various fortune-cookie fortunes that I find entertaining when you add ". . . in bed" to the end:
While cleaning my room this past week, I came across a bunch more than I've collected in recent years. (For two-sentence fortunes, usually insert "in bed" at the end of the first sentence.)
- Care and attention to the key relationships in your life will pay off.
- Concentration leads to success.
- Contentment is just around the corner for you.
- Do something unusual tomorrow.
- Don't be so critical and overly concerned about details.
- Flowers would brighten the day of your close friend tomorrow.
- A friend or partner will be giving you needed information. Listen!
- Friends long absent are coming back to you.
- If a true sense of value is to be yours it must come through service.
- Investigate new possibilities with friends. Now is the time!
- It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
- Learn to listen, not hear.
- No obstacles will stand in the way of your success this month.
- Now is the time to call loved ones at a distance. Share your news.
- The philosophy of one century is the common sense of the next.
- Simplicity of character is the natural result of profound thought.
- Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
- Try something new and different. You will like the results.
- The world is always ready to receive talent with open arms.
- You are thorough and very organized.
- You will be happily surprised by a long time friend.
- You will be selected for a promotion because of your accomplishments.
- You will be showered with good luck before your next birthday. (A separate fortunate was less specific about time: it just said "You will be showered with good luck.")
- You will enjoy razor-sharp spiritual vision today.
- You will stumble into the happiness of your life.
- Your hard work is about to pay off.
And my favorite from this batch:
Put the data you have uncovered to beneficial use.
(I've now collected all the fortunes from all the abovelinked pages, as well as these new ones, in a new page: Fortunes collection.)