Recently in the Spam Category

Most disappointing spam of the day

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Spam subject line:

Strange 11-Letter Word That Doubles Your Metabolism

Wow! A strange word, a long word, and a word that has an effect on the real world, all in one! Just my kind of thing!

Sadly, the message body didn't explicitly refer to words at all. Very disappointing.

(It did contain the word “biochemistry” in quotation marks, but as far as I can tell that's twelve letters long and not especially strange.)

So if any of you happen to know a strange 11-letter word that doubles your (or anyone else's) metabolism, could you post it in comments here? Thanks.

Truncated senders

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In my mail interface, there's a column showing the name of the sender of the email, but that column isn't very wide. So the mail application truncates long sender names and appends “...”

This is all pretty standard, and not something worth mentioning except that sometimes the results of the truncation, especially for spam senders that don't have human names, can be amusing.

This morning brought two pieces of spam with amusingly truncated sender names. The senders were shown as:

  • Sell your Ass...
  • Provide Disco...

On expansion, the first was, of course, “Sell your Assets,” and the second “Provide Discount Insurance.” But I liked the abbreviated ones better.

Fear no noxious

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The other day, Kam and I watched the Lost (season 2) episode titled “The 23rd Psalm.” And she joked, “The 23rd Psalm—isn't that ‘I must not fear; fear is the mind-killer’?”

(For those unfamiliar with the reference, it's a line from Dune.)

Which I was really amused by. And now I'm even more amused, because I just came across two pieces of comment spam that take the 23rd Psalm in a different direction:

When i ocean on the vally associated with death.....I see absolutely no evil. As I attractive satans family room, I believe little nasty. [and then some advertising text]

And, presumably from the same spammer:

When i surfing throughout the vally connected with fatality.....I see absolutely no noxious. As I approach satans family den, I think basically no satanic. We're the online world, We are net. Do you really be aware of the connection on the electricity we need to cope with in this case? Ignored.

I especially like the phrase “surfing throughout the vally connected with fatality.” Nice work, spambot!

(I also like the phrase “satans family room.” And if you Google that phrase, you'll find a bunch more spam from this bot, including lines like “As I walk into satans family room, I'm basically no malefic.” Words to live by!)

When spambots go awry

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Spambots that post comment spam in blogs apparently have a synonym system: they take a piece of text, and they substitute in synonyms for a bunch of the words and phrases in order to make it harder for automated spam defense systems to detect the spam.

But sometimes the automated synonym replacements are a little overzealous, and you end up with something kind of akin to a Secret Yet.

Case in point: today I noticed a spam comment that a bot had posted in my blog that referred to a certain major annual event as the “San Diego Comic minus.”

Spammer names

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Still clearing out old comment spam, but close to done.

Most of the time, spambots either enter non-name phrases into the Name box or use pretty ordinary names. But I just noticed a cluster of intriguing ones:

  • Conway Hound in the Plain
  • Chalmers House of Lords
  • Culbert Cool and Brilliant
  • Bartholomew Warlike

I Googled a couple of the phrases, and found that they're the meanings of the names, from baby-name kinds of sites.

Which is pretty prosaic after all; the spambots are just taking a first name and tacking on the name's meaning. But I do like the phrase “Culbert Cool and Brilliant”; maybe it's part of the same series as Sarah, Plain and Tall.

(Okay, it turns out that there really is a series, and the other books don't have titles like that. But it's still a good joke, so I'll leave it.)

economies

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Recently saw a spam subject line that I thought said "Succeed in a truth economy." Which brought all sorts of interesting science fictional ideas to mind.

Until I saw that it actually said "Succeed in a tough economy."

Oh, well.

Best spam subject lines of late

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As noted in my main blog, I've been clearing out my spam mailbox lately.

Here are some of my favorite subject lines from spam messages I've seen recently. I'm especially amused by some of the creative euphemisms that spammers come up with for "penis," but I've mostly left those out of this entry, except for a couple I particularly liked.

  • You can't rent a big friend in your underwear but you can gain it forever.
  • Barak Obama is a woman!
  • Weeding invite [I'm pretty sure this was meant to say "Wedding invite," but I like the idea of sending out weeding invites.]
  • Obama Proposes Trade of AIG Executives in Primitive Swaps
  • Maybe Spam I am missing you [OR MAYBE NOT!]
  • Smoking ruins! And if you desire to stay alive,ask us for our help. [Now I see that this is meant to be an anti-smoking ad, but on first reading I thought "ruins" was a noun.]
  • No Jail Time For Man Arrested In Capptain America Costume
  • Empower your pollinator
  • Terrorists used cats! Iraq

Keyword spam

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My main blog has been receiving a lot of comment spam lately. Annoying, but the upside is that some of the comments are mildly entertaining: they're posted by a spambot that recognizes key words but doesn't know that words can have multiple meanings.

So, for example, an entry of mine from back in 2002 has the title "Phrase dating and the New Wave, which contains the word "dating." So a spambot posted a comment on that entry the other day that said "Is it ok to bring flowers on a first date?"

And several of my entries that contain the word "girls" (referring to young female humans, as in "On Girls, Boys, and IT Careers") get spam comments about "girls sex movie" and such.

And then there was my entry "Writing challenge/exercise: Unamerican," which just got a spam comment that says "Love this blog, love fitness and life, thanks for a good read!"—presumably because of the word "exercise."

And though this isn't quite the same thing, whenever I mention recipes, as in an entry on "Recipe law," I get comment spam pointing me to recipe sites or saying (for example) "I am looking for a lot of different meal ideas. If you are willing to recommand another page I would honestly appreciate it. Thank you!"

HUDLOOMS

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Best spam subject line of the week:

RE: BE CAREFUL OF THE HUDLOOMS

I thought perhaps a HUDLOOM was a weaving device containing a Heads-Up Display. Or perhaps some kind of magical thingy from a Harry Potter book.

Sadly, it appears to be simply a misspelling of "hoodlum." Still, I was entertained, and thought you might be too.

Also of note is this line from the body of the message, which caught my eye during the two seconds in which I briefly glanced at the email looking for more hudloom info:

The above listed names are been traced/investigated by our team and some of them have elope the country[....]

A nicely poetic way of describing someone fleeing the law, I guess.

I know it's not good form to mock non-fluent English speakers. But I sometimes can't resist.

monkey misreading

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Just saw a spam subject line that said:

MONEY OR LOVE? WHY NOT BOTH?

Only at first glance I misread the first word, so I thought it said:

MONKEY OR LOVE? WHY NOT BOTH?

Latest spam subject lines

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My favorite spam subject lines of the day:

First:

the social networking site no one else knows about

Now I want to generalize that to a sort of a game: take a positive attribute that one might use to praise one thing, come up with a different thing that turns that attribute negative. "shimmering vermilion milk," say, or "waterproof breakfast cereal."

Anyway, the other spam subject line of the day, in a totally different vein:

Women will be your resigned slaves

Somehow I think "resigned" isn't really the word they had in mind, but I'm amused by the image. I'm thinking of a harem full of women sitting around, bored, rolling their eyes at every command given them by the hapless slave master. "~Yes, 'master'~," they say sarcastically. "I suppose I'll wash your feet. If I must. Sigh."

The interior of that one was funny, too:

Your woman will be shocked by your fang's astonishing progress.

Go, fang!

About this Archive

This page is an archive of recent entries in the Spam category.

Software is the previous category.

Specific Words is the next category.

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