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Another Lyrics Meme

This is a kind of reverse lyrics meme, picked up from Not Really A Link: shuffle all the one-star songs in your library, and list the first lyric for each of the first ten songs. As usual, I left off the instrumentals and the foreign lyrics. Points for song title, lyricist and singer.

  1. April Fool, April Fool/This isn't going to fool anyone/not that I like fooling people anyway/or being fooled for that matter
  2. He's a two-trick pony/Two tricks are all that horse can do/He does one trick mostly/but the secondary trick is pretty good, too
  3. Hip, hip hooray/three cheers for my baby/hip, hip hooray/baby's got three hips
  4. Cory loves me/This I know/Cos the Internet tells me so
  5. There are lots of things on Moshe Dayan/There are lots of things on Moshe Dayan/There's a spot on Moshe Dayan's tie/There's a patch on Moshe Dayan's eye/Moshe Dayan walks like a chicken
  6. Yes, we have no bananas/we have no bananas/but we have half-a-dozen plantains, which are a lot like bananas
  7. Fuck fuck fuck fuck/Ow that hurts/Fuck fuck fuck fuck/You little shit/Don't ever do that again/It isn't funny/How would you like it/If it happened to you/Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
  8. I'm Talkin' Baseball/Ort and Raj and Benji/Giants baseball/Barry Z and Brian Hennesey/Aurilia, Durham Omar and Velez/We're still fans no matter what anyone sez/Talkin' Baseball/The Giants sure suck, don't they?
  9. Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination/And when he's tall/He's what we call a dinosaur sensation
  10. Farewell, lovely Nancy/Farewell, my own true love/For it's now I must go away and leave ye/Never to see you any more/I'm gonna sail upon that ferry boat/Never to return again/So farewell, lovely Nancy/But you must be safe, and be loyal and constant/Like a sucker

Quando Omni Flunkus Moritati,


Wow, until you actually wrote them down, I never realized precisely how horrible the Barney theme song lyrics are. And they are.

Also, if it happens to me, feel free to laugh, 'cause I'm an annoying jerk.

As to the meta-conversation you're having with yourself, I rather like the idea of April Fool's Day, what with the upside-down stuff. Social order, humor, cake. All that. But in practice, I really much prefer my humor right-side-up.


Yeah, I looked up the Barney theme with the idea of tampering with it to make it really horrible, but it turned out I couldn't make it any worse than it already was.

Also, #4 should read “Cos the wiki tells me so” which is funnier and scans better. Too late now.

If All Fools Day had more upside-down to it and less mean-spirited fooled ya, ya moron ya, I'd like it better. Also more cake.


Totally. As implemented, it's kind of the perfect holiday for obnoxious nine-year-olds, and those fuckers hardly need another damn holiday.

Kind of makes me wish there was a monarchy, so that I could abuse their indulgence with biting social commentary. This First Amendment thing was really bad for the proud profession of Jester. I hardly have any use for my marotte, any more, although my motley makes for good Rock Gear (TM).

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