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Game Time

Since I got nothing today, how about a little game of Fortunately/Unfortunately? Here’s how it works: The first sentence starts Once Upon a Time, and after that sentences alternate between beginning Unfortunately and Fortunately. The players try to make a story that makes some sort of sense, ideally coming to a satisfactory conclusion on the last Fortunately.

My house rule for a, y’know, house is strict adherence to turn order with an odd number of players. I have never played on-line Fortunately/Unfortunately before, so I’m just guessing what would be good House Rules. Let’s go with:

  1. Players should not take two Us or two Fs in a row. If your last was a U, wait to chime in until we get to an F, and veesey versey.
  2. Players should not take two turns in a row, unless more than six hours have passed
  3. Players are strongly urged to give all characters names, if not in the sentence that introduces them, as quickly as practicable thereafter.
  4. Sentences may be as long as you like, but long sentences should maintain some vaguely grammatical construction, because that’s more entertaining to me.
  5. If two comments are posted more-or-less simultaneously, the faster typist’s sentence takes precedence in case of plot contradiction—but if it’s possible to include the content of both sentences in the story, that’s even better.

Ready, then?

Once Upon a Time, in a castle on a hill, Queen Isobel was sad because her three daughters, Leah, Maria and Natalia, could not sleep.

Your turn. Unfortunately …

Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,


Unfortunately, the castle guards most certainly could sleep, and did, so King Mandrian's men were able to cross the moat undetected.

Fortunately, King Mandrian's scout, a short fellow named Ivan, was truly loyal to Queen Isobel and led the men away from the treasure rooms and all the vulnerable places in the castle and directly into the chamber where the royal eagle-hounds were kept.

Unfortunately, the eagle-hounds were feeling a bit sluggish, having recently eaten an ogre, two bugbears, and the shoe collection of the chief lady in waiting.

Fortunately, Natalia had particularly sensitive hearing, and had been thinking that whole week about how she'd respond if she heard interlopers mucking about in the castle.

Fortunately (Queen Isobel's castle not having a moat), all King Mandrian's men had done was to leave their own castle unguarded — so far, without their liege's noticing.

Unfortunately, Natalia--despite her sensitive hearing--was also as clumsy as a cat on roller-skates, a great trial to her sisters, Leah and Maria, whenever there were dances. So as Natalia climbed the stairs to the eagle-hounds' chamber, she tripped, pulled down the torch and set fire to the rug, and let out an involuntary gasp when the mice fled the scene of disaster. With her sensitive hearing, she heard footsteps coming back down and hid quickly behind the arras before Caedmon, King Mandrian's youngest son who led the scouting troop, came into view.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), Natalia's ACME Home Boobytrapping Kit had not yet arrived, and it had been several years since her last lesson with the castle ninjas.

(my last Fortunately looks extracanonical at this point, so I'm not counting it)

Fortunately, Queen Isobel's ninja-guards, awakened by Ivan (and the noise), arrived from the other direction just as Caedmon's Marines came down the stairs; Natalia was going to have an excellent view of whatever happened next.

Unfortunately, what happened next was entirely obscured from view, as Alluviel, Caedmon's witch and personal secretary, drew the Umbra of Dark Effluvium from the seventh pit of Tartarus and cast the entire palace under its shadow; the ensuing pitched battle took place under a shroud of utter darkness.

Fortunately, Caedmon's Marines and Queen Isobel's ninja-guards were well-trained in fighting in utter darkness, and named themselves as each in turn were slain so that the survivors and onlookers could keep score: "Lo, it is I, Bob the ninja-guard, and I am slain."

Unfortunately, when the Marine Jean-Francois Perigord de St-Émilion and the ninja-guard Jean-Francois Perigord de St-Estèphe (who were second cousins, unbeknownst to themselves or anybody else, although one would have thought somebody would have noticed at some point) simultaneously crushed each others throats, everybody became unbearably confused, and the fighting just sort of petered out into blind argument and chitchat.

fortunately, the chitchat led to discovery that 2 ninja, a marine, and subshadow GLLLLUNPI of the extraordinary diabolical fissures department all had read http://danielsolisblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/thousand-year-game-design-challenge.html with interest, and they went on to fame and $1000 of fortune, however much that was worth.

Unfortunately, despite the sudden upswell in generalized enthusiasm about game design, the best they came up with between May 21 and June 6 was, curiously enough, a game by the double-agent Ivan, and they quickly tired of his "Dicing for Donuts," delicious though it was, and as it required quite specialized equipment in the form of a deep fryer and icosohedronal dice, the group ultimately decided not to submit it.

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