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A Syllogism, composed whilst shoveling snow

Major Premise: No-one understands John Shaft but his woman.

Minor Premise: Isaac Hayes is not John Shaft’s woman. (See Lemma).

Conclusion 1: Isaac Hayes does not understand John Shaft.

Minor Premise 2: Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darĂ¼ber muss man schweigen

Conclusion 2: Shut your mouth!

Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,
-Vardibidian.

Lemma: If we assume that there is a set P of people who understand John Shaft, a person p is in the set P iff p is John Shaft’s woman, that is, in J intersect W, where objects are in J iff they have a relationship with John Shaft, and objects are in W iff they are women. Further, it is the case that the intersection of W and M is the null set, where objects are in M iff they are men. Therefore, it can be seen that P intersect M is the null set. But Isaac Hayes is in the set M! Therefore Isaac Hayes is not John Shaft’s woman.

 

*This is actually false; in fact W intersect M is simply ill-defined.