j: The Big Red Hen (Reader Comments)

(1 April 1997)

Thida Cornes contributed a sad (but amusing) little poem she wrote in which all the words are three or fewer letters long. In retrospect, I think this restriction makes for better content than requiring all words to be exactly three letters long. Thida adds: "It contains 12 lines, because 12 is divisible by three."

An ode to Tim

or, Sad bad wed

Far far to see is the one I wed
His mug and wig all in red
To him I am but a fad
Oh rad mad cad and dad
He me did vex. He ate my pie,
and I sad gal did sit and cry.
He is so bad I not say nay
but oh the sex on the hay.
I nag him not or he may go
And set me in my big sop woe
No joy do I own, oh sad Peg
For the man in red I did wed

Thida Cornes

Arthur Evans responded with "an alternate viewpoint on the possibilities of marital bliss":

Tom and Sue

(A case history in sensitivity training)

Bob see his son Tom paw Sue. "Bad boy!" cry Bob. Now sad, his son say, "May God and dad see, for yon sin I'll pew sit all day." And Tom did. And God saw, and dad saw. Sue saw, and she was sad, too! She say, "Not paw gal and pat her ass, you big ape, but ask, ply, and get her hot for sin." Tom saw. Tom ask Sue. Now Sue and Tom are wed.

The End.

Arthur went on to write this amusing (but sad) "wire story from that famous three-letter press syndicate, Big New Nuz":

Bad Rap for Wig Boy

Ted was wig boy for Big Joe Ely. One day, Joe can not see his wig. Joe say, "Wig boy? You eat the wig? Huh?" "Sir, I'll say not," say Ted. Big Joe get mad, get cop. Now Ted, sad wig boy, sit and rot. Big Joe Ely has new wig boy, Lee Roy Yen. It's odd, how mad Joe got for one wig, huh?

Back to column j

Back to main Words & Stuff page