L: Too Much on My Plate (Reader Comments and Addenda)
It turned out that the one Web page which contained all of the information I needed for this column was inaccessible right when I needed it. So I've done something I've never done before: modified the column after it had been up for a couple days. I considered just noting the differences/changes on this page, but they were too extensive. So the column now contains (I hope) a complete list of all mottos on US and Canadian general-issue passenger plates issued after 1990. I removed "Don't Mess With Texas" (apparently a bumper sticker, never a license plate motto), "Land of Opportunity" (Arkansas, not issued since 1978), "Trail" (Oregon, a special-issue plate), and "World's Motor Capital" (Michigan, a special-issue plate), and added about ten new ones. So if you read the column during the first couple days it was up, you may want to go back and peek at the list again.
By the way, my source for a lot of this updated information is Michael Kustermann's great license-plate Web page. Kustermann is a member of ALPCA, the Automotive License Plate Collectors Association; there are a bunch of other ALPCA pages, but this one is the most readable and has the most pictures.
Danny Fahs was quick to submit some vanity plates:
- Celebrate & Discover
- DVRSITY
- The Last Frontier
- SPACE [almost too easy. —JEH]
- The Natural State
- NUDE
- Big Sky
- MSTRSON (Guys & Dolls reference) [I especially like this one. —JEH]
- The Klondike
- BAR
- Constitution State
- CON 18 (AD&D reference)
Mark O'Bannon was almost as quick, with a long list:
- 10000 Lakes....
- R2FEW
- NOTENUF
- OFBEER
- NOBEACH
- NOSNAKES
- Great Lakes....
- 4SALE
- ASLAKESGO (I know, I know, it's 9 letters) [but I'll allow it, since it's my favorite entry so far —JEH]
- Live Free or Die...
- T (As in "Diet")
- OR NOT
- OR ELSE
- Great Faces, Great Places....
- 5 ACES
- GR8VASES
- Celebrate and Discover....
- YOURBODY
- America's Dairyland....
- GOTMILK?
- The Last Frontier....
- WAS HERE
- UR2L8
- Famous Potatoes....
- WITH AN E
- The First State....
- LAFSLAST
- Don't Mess With....
- YOURFOOD
- OL'BESS
- ELIOTNESS
- Land of Opportunity....
- KNOCK
- OK! ....
- JUST OK
- OKOKOK
- Sportsman's Paradise....
- WIFEHELL
- FISHHELL
- Trail....
- ER4SALE
- Big Sky....
- LILPRICE
- SCRAPER
- Friendly....
- 2MUCHSO
- 2BOYS (or 2GIRLS, or 2 anything else)
- 2NONE
- ASASNAKE
- IFDRUNK
- IFONDLD
- Yours to Discover....
- OR DIE
- Canada's Ocean Playground....
- SANK
- IS DAMP
- Explore Canada's Arctic...
- BY BUS
- ALONE
- OR DIE
- NUDE
- Live Free or Die
- FL8RMAUS [hee-hee —JEH]
- Live Free or Die
- HUNGRY (I don't know what it means, but I kind of like the sound. Actually, almost anything sounds natural there. SAD, LONELY, or POOR all work pretty well. Perhaps best, though, would be: IN JAIL.)
- The Natural State
- BCK NAKD
- The Spirit of America
- GREED
- Preserve the Spirit
- RECORK
- OF BOB
He adds: "There are all sorts of unprintable things that could go after 'Explore ...' ... However, as a subtle message to visitors, some Minnesotan might like:"
- Explore
- CANADA
Elliott checks in with these entries:
- 10,000 Lakes
- &1SAUCE
- Big Sky
- GET HI
- First in Flight
- SIRROBIN
- Great Faces, Great Places (This one has got a MOCK ME sign taped to its back.)
- GET BRACES
- 2 RACES
- Great Lakes
- BATMAN!
- Keystone State
- KOPS
- Live Free or Die,
- PUNK [hee-hee —JEH]
- Wild, Wonderful
- UNDR AGE
- Nouveau
- RICHE (on a 280SL)
- Je me souviens
- L'ALAMO
He adds:
Many states did not consult me when picking a slogan, and are now paying the price. Most of the slogans are not only insipid but anonymous— they could apply equally well to any state or province. More characteristic alternatives:
- The Rectangular State
- Kansas
- The Meat-Cleaver State
- Oklahoma
- The One-Syllable State
- Maine
- America's Largest Obtuse Angle
- Nevada
- Way the Hell Out There
- Hawaii [though some might say this applied more to California —JEH]
And finally, he suggests a bumper sticker slogan (because it wouldn't fit on a vanity plate):
IN AMERICA'S DAIRYLAND,
NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU MOO.
(Last updated: 17 March 1998)