The Remarkable Bargain
lyrics and melody by Catherine Faber 2014
mp3 and pdf sheet music *note that the mp3 is out of date; I will record a new one
The very best grifter I ever encountered
Who made the whole party look all kinds of fool
This moocher--this con man--was not even human.
Hark to the story of Bargain the mule
We wanted a mule for a trip to Pen Dyfed
A leisurely walk of a couple of days.
A beast that would carry the bulk of our burdens
Our wizard set out, a good bargain to raise.
He found a cheap mule, but it did have a drawback
The mule was quite old, and on top of that, ill
But we had a cleric, who cured its pneumonia
For fear that the journey our bargain would kill.
We let Bargain rest for a night in the stable
We bought him hot mash and a rubdown to boot,
Some fruit and some grain to give strength on the journey,
And all of this bounty came out of our loot.
We left the next day with the mule moving slowly.
His load was too heavy--we shouldered our packs
Even his fruit and his grain we divided
Adding its weight to the load on our backs.
We stopped now and then, when his breath started wheezing
To let him relax, where the shadow was cool.
It took us three days to get halfway to Dyfed
Thanks to the purchase of Bargain the mule.
Bargain's dark eyes make us feel rather guilty
His "why are you doing this?" look didn't cease
Why should we drag this poor creature to Dyfed?
Let his last days have some comfort and peace.
We found a nice pasture and took off his halter;
The last fruit and barley we fed to him, then,
In honest relief, walked off briskly to Dyfedd.
We figured we'd never see Bargain again.
Halfway to Dyfed, a mule by the fence line,
Sees it is us, and starts promptly to drool.
Out come the apples intended for luncheon;
Be grateful that Bargain was only a mule.
The very best grifter I ever encountered
Who made the whole party look all kinds of fool
This moocher--this con man--was not even human.
Hark to the story of Bargain the mule
