{"id":19798,"date":"2023-07-01T00:39:43","date_gmt":"2023-07-01T07:39:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/?page_id=19798"},"modified":"2023-08-26T11:58:31","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T18:58:31","slug":"the-dumbarton","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/hodgepodge\/verse\/the-dumbarton\/","title":{"rendered":"The Dumbarton"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n\r\n

by Mykle Hansen<\/a> and Jed Hartman

\r\n\r\n

Contents<\/h2>\r\n\r\n
    \r\n
  1. Jed and Mykle talk of writing.<\/li>\r\n
  2. Mykle picks a form of rhyme.<\/li>\r\n
  3. A weekend passes unexciting.<\/li>\r\n
  4. Nothing much\u2014it\u2019s Filler Time!<\/li>\r\n
  5. Chance will govern what comes next:<\/li>\r\n
  6. Jed draws Swords as choice of text\u2014<\/li>\r\n
  7. Starts a tale which Mykle spurns.<\/li>\r\n
  8. Round and round the Earth still turns.<\/li>\r\n
  9. A card with which God won\u2019t shoot craps.<\/li>\r\n
  10. On matters dark and grim we brood.<\/li>\r\n
  11. More talk of holidays and food.<\/li>\r\n
  12. One describes; the other naps.<\/li>\r\n
  13. Updating Jed\u2019s biography.<\/li>\r\n
  14. Mykle\u2019s Christmas Shopping Spree.<\/li>\r\n<\/ol>\r\n\r\n
    \r\n\r\n
    \r\n

    When Mykle heard that SWAPA soon<\/p>\r\n

    Would be assembled out in Mass.,<\/p>\r\n

    He turned and said, \u201cThis afternoon,<\/p>\r\n

    Let\u2019s write a \u2019zine together. (Pass<\/p>\r\n

    The eggplant)\u201d\u2014he and Jed were eating<\/p>\r\n

    Eggplant Parmesan, reheating<\/p>\r\n

    Arthur\u2019s food from night before.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cTo write with me would be a bore,\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Jed grumped. \u201cMy mind\u2019s completely skewed;<\/p>\r\n

    I\u2019m sick of every \u2019zine I start<\/p>\r\n

    Before I reach the middle part.<\/p>\r\n

    I just can\u2019t seem to get the mood.<\/p>\r\n

    I never think of things to write,<\/p>\r\n

    Although I sieve my brain each night.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    But Mykle grinned and said, \u201cNow, wait!<\/p>\r\n

    You see this book from Arthur\u2019s shelf,<\/p>\r\n

    By Vikram Seth, called Golden Gate?<\/p>\r\n

    I wish I\u2019d written it myself.<\/p>\r\n

    But now\u2019s our chance; like Seth, let\u2019s try<\/p>\r\n

    To write a bunch of sonnets. By<\/p>\r\n

    The time they\u2019re done, we\u2019ll figure out<\/p>\r\n

    Just what we want to write about.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cI haven\u2019t read that book,\u201d mused Jed,<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cBut someday soon I will. It could<\/p>\r\n

    Be fun to do that\u2014but a good<\/p>\r\n

    Sonnet\u2019s hard to write.\u201d Myk said,<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cThis kind is easier because it\u2019s lined<\/p>\r\n

    With iambs of the tetrametric kind.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Errands followed, brunches two<\/p>\r\n

    (Mykle\u2019s held in Santa Cruz;<\/p>\r\n

    Jed\u2019s took place in Mountain View),<\/p>\r\n

    While great ideas sat unused.<\/p>\r\n

    Not \u2019til Sunday, 10 P.M.,<\/p>\r\n

    Did Mykle call to say, \u201cAhem!<\/p>\r\n

    I know I said I\u2019d be available,<\/p>\r\n

    But other plans were un-derailable.<\/p>\r\n

    (This unemployment makes me frantic.)<\/p>\r\n

    Anyway I\u2019m back in town,<\/p>\r\n

    Do we have time to verse around?\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Jed sighed. \u201cWasn\u2019t this last week\u2019s antic?<\/p>\r\n

    I\u2019m booked at one A.M.,\u201d he said.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cWith whom?\u201d asked Mykle. \u201cWith my bed.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Up soon thereafter Mykle showed.<\/p>\r\n

    (Though \u201csoon\u201d for some is relative.)<\/p>\r\n

    And when Jed\u2019s tired fingers slowed,<\/p>\r\n

    Like slothful slugs grown gelative,<\/p>\r\n

    Mykle tapped out stanza three.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cI\u2019ve found a plot!\u201d he yelped, with glee.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cWe\u2019ll ... actually ... um ... never mind!\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    A good mandate proved hard to find.<\/p>\r\n

    A quartz clock in the corner ticked.<\/p>\r\n

    The backspace clacked; the hard disk hummed,<\/p>\r\n

    Seth\u2019s book grew more intensely thumbed,<\/p>\r\n

    The flame roared down Time\u2019s candlestick.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cTime\u2019s what?\u201d asked Jed, just slightly piquedly.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cTeh prolbem,\u201d he went on Bhadrikadly,<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    \u201cIs how we best can tell a story<\/p>\r\n

    In the time that still remains.<\/p>\r\n

    Not too sappy, not too gory,<\/p>\r\n

    Nothing injured, nothing stained.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Jed frowned, and tossed his gaze around<\/p>\r\n

    His cluttered floor, where Mykle found<\/p>\r\n

    A lovely Crowley\u2019s Thoth Tarot<\/p>\r\n

    In unison they yelped \u201cWe know!<\/p>\r\n

    Like P. K. Dick\u2019s I Ching technique,<\/p>\r\n

    We\u2019ll draw from this unbroken deck<\/p>\r\n

    (Shuffling first for full effect)<\/p>\r\n

    And let the random pasteboards speak<\/p>\r\n

    On subjects of a Swapish bent,<\/p>\r\n

    Stiff rudders for our beached intent.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    (And Jed was quick to add a note<\/p>\r\n

    That this idea owed a lot<\/p>\r\n

    To something that Calvino wrote.)<\/p>\r\n

    At last the two had found a plot!<\/p>\r\n

    With care\u2014and, too, with trepidation\u2014<\/p>\r\n

    Mykle shuffled inspirations;<\/p>\r\n

    Jed tugged loose one painted card,<\/p>\r\n

    Then flexed his fingers, like a bard<\/p>\r\n

    Preparing for a lyrical<\/p>\r\n

    Performance, sat before his Mac,<\/p>\r\n

    Stretched his arms and aching back,<\/p>\r\n

    And prayed there\u2019d be a miracle.<\/p>\r\n

    The Knight of Swords, the card he\u2019d drawn,<\/p>\r\n

    Showed armored man with beanie on,<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Propelled by wind, atop his horse.<\/p>\r\n

    Jed muttered to himself, and gnashed<\/p>\r\n

    His teeth, and cursed, then said, \u201cOf course!<\/p>\r\n

    I\u2019ll tell of when I nearly bashed<\/p>\r\n

    My head in once while parasailing!<\/p>\r\n

    A dashing tale indeed! Or, failing<\/p>\r\n

    That, of how I thought I\u2019d fancy<\/p>\r\n

    Trying the sport, were it less chancy.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    But Mykle frowned. To him, the plate<\/p>\r\n

    Depicted the unsettling stress<\/p>\r\n

    Attached to chronic fundlessness.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cBut so does everything of late.<\/p>\r\n

    This Knave I\u2019d instantly remit<\/p>\r\n

    For something with more Coins in it.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Jed snickered, though he knew the feeling,<\/p>\r\n

    And pointed out that in this pack<\/p>\r\n

    Disks instead of Coins go wheeling<\/p>\r\n

    Around that endless curving track<\/p>\r\n

    That we call Life; at which point Mykle<\/p>\r\n

    Cut him off. \u201cA motorcycle<\/p>\r\n

    Is more my speed. Let\u2019s keep this moving.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Jed glared at Mykle, disapproving:<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cI need more time. I want to note a<\/p>\r\n

    Qabbalistic curiosity:<\/p>\r\n

    That (if you first remove the final \u2018T\u2019)<\/p>\r\n

    \u2018Tarot\u2019 revolves, becoming \u2018rota.\u2019<\/p>\r\n

    This fact moved Mykle to extract<\/p>\r\n

    \u2018The Universe\u2019 from Crowley\u2019s pack..<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    The card portrays a maiden fair,<\/p>\r\n

    Entangled in an astral serpent,<\/p>\r\n

    Clothed in naught but conch-shaped hair.<\/p>\r\n

    At each corner, like a cur pent<\/p>\r\n

    Up in doghouse like a cage,<\/p>\r\n

    A Kerub snorts and growls in rage,<\/p>\r\n

    While in the background turns the Wheel<\/p>\r\n

    Of Life\u2014this card\u2019s a real big deal.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cBut what\u2019s a Kerub?\u201d pondered Jed.<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cIt\u2019s something like a Caribou,\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Guessed Mykle, \u201cbut distorted through<\/p>\r\n

    The \u2019lipsoid lens of Crowley\u2019s head.<\/p>\r\n

    It brings to mind my car insurance\u2014<\/p>\r\n

    If I don\u2019t pay, I\u2019ll be in durance<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Vile.\u201d \u201cBut everything reminds you<\/p>\r\n

    Of your bloody car insurance,\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    Jed said peevishly. \u201cIt\u2019s true,<\/p>\r\n

    And this card stands for all-referrance.<\/p>\r\n

    Pain, Death, Taxes, Sadness, Fear,<\/p>\r\n

    the DMV, they\u2019re all right here.<\/p>\r\n

    And that reminds me, did you have <\/p>\r\n

    A good Thanksgiving?\u201d \u201cNothing lav-<\/p>\r\n

    Ish; actually, to tell no lie,<\/p>\r\n

    I had no dinner,\u201d Jed replied, <\/p>\r\n

    \u201cBut that\u2019s okay. No turkeys died<\/p>\r\n

    To make my meal; no pumpkin pie,<\/p>\r\n

    Nor cranberries, nor bits of scrapple<\/p>\r\n

    Fed me\u2014I was off at Apple,<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Working, since I\u2019d taken Tuesday<\/p>\r\n

    Off. So how was your Thanksgiving?\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cOkay. I cooked, I ate. I used a<\/p>\r\n

    Recipe from Meat-Free Living<\/p>\r\n

    For vegetarian casserole\u2014<\/p>\r\n

    So good I nearly downed it whole!<\/p>\r\n

    But moving right along, here, try<\/p>\r\n

    another card.\u201d So, by and by<\/p>\r\n

    Jed plucked The Priestess, second Trump,<\/p>\r\n

    From Mykle\u2019s fanned-out hand, then took<\/p>\r\n

    A gander at the little book<\/p>\r\n

    Explaining all the cards. He slumped<\/p>\r\n

    Back in his chair and read aloud:<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cThe Priestess, with her veil of cloud,<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Portrays a gracious influence<\/p>\r\n

    Which promises a happy change;<\/p>\r\n

    But watch for overconfidence\u2014<\/p>\r\n

    Fluctuation through a range<\/p>\r\n

    Demands you strike a compromise,<\/p>\r\n

    A balance ...\u201d Soon poor Mykle\u2019s eyes<\/p>\r\n

    Grew heavy from o\u2019erwhelming boredom.<\/p>\r\n

    He slinked into the kitchen, poured him-<\/p>\r\n

    Self some coffee, cooked a waffle,<\/p>\r\n

    And resting, offered up a toast:<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cTo Seth! To whom I now could boast:<\/p>\r\n

    \u2018I used to want to write your novel!\u2019<\/p>\r\n

    Two cantos left\u2014we\u2019re running late!<\/p>\r\n

    It seems Her Grace will have to wait.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Before we go, we\u2019ll have to say<\/p>\r\n

    A little on our current lives.<\/p>\r\n

    Jed\u2019s learned that there is hell to pay<\/p>\r\n

    From juggling torches (also knives).<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cThough boring jobs are just no fun,<\/p>\r\n

    I guess it beats not having one:<\/p>\r\n

    I\u2019m still employed (at least, \u2019til March).<\/p>\r\n

    I\u2019m playing games and eating starch;<\/p>\r\n

    Not writing much (and thus, no sales);<\/p>\r\n

    Seeing friends I haven\u2019t seen<\/p>\r\n

    In year\u2014not since I was a teen;<\/p>\r\n

    Watching movies; reading tales.<\/p>\r\n

    With that I think I\u2019ll hand the keys<\/p>\r\n

    To Mykle.\u201d \u201cAnd the mouse too, please.\u201d<\/p>\r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n

    Mykle\u2019s Christmas shopping tips:<\/p>\r\n

    \u201cChase away those yuletide blues<\/p>\r\n

    As caused by excess charge-card slips;<\/p>\r\n

    Give the gift of I. O. U.s!<\/p>\r\n

    Or, barring that, consider wax;<\/p>\r\n

    Though compact disks have bonus tracks,<\/p>\r\n

    A record\u2019s clearly much more PC\u2014<\/p>\r\n

    In fact, it\u2019s an endangered species.\u201d<\/p>\r\n

    With this, our narrarators twain<\/p>\r\n

    Endeavored to fill out the closing<\/p>\r\n

    Lines, so they might set to dozing<\/p>\r\n

    With sonnet-embolismized brains.

    \r\n

     <\/p>\r\n

    Our revels here at last are ended;<\/p>\r\n

    Now it\u2019s time that this be sended.

    \r\n<\/div>\r\n\r\n

    \r\n\r\n

    Notes<\/h2>\r\n\r\n

    This was written for SWAPA sometime in \u201991 or \u201992 (and Webbed by Jed on 10\/12\/95). It contains several SWAPA in-jokes, but I think it might be reasonably entertaining even to non-SWAPAns. It\u2019s of course inspired (if that\u2019s the right word) by Vikram Seth\u2019s novel-in-sonnets The Golden Gate<\/cite>; the Dumbarton Bridge is a lesser-known bridge that spans San Francisco Bay.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

    For added fun, try to figure out who wrote which lines. (I was there, and even I can\u2019t tell with a lot of it.) Toward the end we got a little punchy and started giving each other challenges by ending a line with a difficult-to-rhyme word...<\/p>\r\n\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"parent":19769,"menu_order":11,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-19798","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/19798","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=19798"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/19798\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20773,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/19798\/revisions\/20773"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/19769"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=19798"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}