{"id":21641,"date":"2025-11-09T12:12:46","date_gmt":"2025-11-09T20:12:46","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/?page_id=21641"},"modified":"2025-11-09T12:14:47","modified_gmt":"2025-11-09T20:14:47","slug":"puns","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/hodgepodge\/nonfiction\/puns\/","title":{"rendered":"Puns"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n\r\n<style>\r\n\r\np.attribution {\r\n  font-size: 95%;\r\n  text-align: right;\r\n  margin-top: 12px;\r\n}\r\n\r\nblockquote + p.attribution {\r\n  margin-top: -15px;\r\n}\r\n\r\ndiv.dialogue + p.attribution {\r\n  margin-top: -15px;\r\n}\r\n\r\n<\/style>\r\n\r\n<p>I occasionally post puns on Facebook. Here\u2019s a collection of those.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>What\u2019s a wolf\u2019s favorite leafy green?<\/p>\r\n<p>.<\/p>\r\n<p>.<\/p>\r\n<p>.<\/p>\r\n<p>aroogula<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02KJRJZQmN3idg1RDRGAMkH7D53v4T494dV1JJwjw3Uf1A3nChCWLcoqG7T1LZoDiSl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>Every September, new students volunteer at the theatre to help show audience members to their seats.<\/p>\r\n<p>But that particular September, those students were more curious than usual. They wanted to know how to do everything. They kept asking questions. Questions are great, but this was a *lot* of questions.<\/p>\r\n<p>I still remember it: the fall of the hows of ushers.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid024M5CKpfGwGf6U7fiWAfCEqbgTy2ZqFMqjonss2mS9M7mg8pjjhYrydzkxX4mcdRPl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>And then there's that Indian restaurant where they play Beatles songs while you wait for your take-out food. Their specialty is paper-bag raita.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid0tnWCSg7igBxCFBnkPDAhWtpas8P83TypXSGrF5RM5JDciz7PCnE7QGUEipZXbRoFl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>I wasn\u2019t sure how to behave in that situation, so I consulted an excellent book on manners about it.<\/p>\r\n<p>Which is to say, I went over it with a fine couth tome.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02m2zbv366EjXts4QPtx2H8n9yXbULzA54QsRjGpjyjH4QbjDH9QMcfCx3Kzt18Jqzl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>And then there\u2019s that mutant supervillain who always dresses in purplish-red:<\/p>\r\n<p>Magento.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02mGs4y1aZyhAc5sXWRiVfBjr1U8cQfyyv4uPQNDJTrqmNegFdWqRpEECBeYwXQD2gl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>What's all this fuss I keep hearing about a turbot ax? Why would you need an ax to cut up a fish? Wouldn't a simple knife do just as well?<\/p>\r\n<p>#emilylitella<\/p>\r\n<p>#nevermind<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02dPGoabbnGe2G9mBYFKpKh8RWwk1V2LtHFJYwM9SBtwLCeu1Qg5SacvhR9w85uW29l\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>She raised a flagon containing 6.022 x 10<sup>23<\/sup> molecules of alcohol, and called out, \u201cTo your health!\u201d<\/p>\r\n<p>\u2026and that was the origin of the Avogadro toast.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02fdfr5pPnarLtRQtJ4s1Mxd4pUK4cHwLUHqzf7dov6PqdjkPP1y8TREGUmDWx7RiGl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n<hr width=\"25%\" \/>\r\n\r\n<p>They took pretty good care of bees 1 through 8, but the next bee seemed to do better without anybody doing anything for it.<\/p>\r\n<p>A clear case of bee 9 neglect.<\/p>\r\n\r\n<p class=\"attribution\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/jed.hartman\/posts\/pfbid02L37woRE9Cc9s38mJUopepuiLZpZnTJVEFZ4CQW8VjHvSP53rbcyczJKr59kEqUrCl\">(source)<\/a><\/p>\r\n\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"parent":5482,"menu_order":310,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-21641","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21641"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":21644,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/21641\/revisions\/21644"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/5482"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}