Here's a simple guideline that I wish more people in our society would follow:<\/p>\n
Don't touch other people without their permission.<\/strong><\/p>\n When I started this post, I was thinking specifically about ways in which some bodies are sometimes treated as public property, such as white people touching black people's hair<\/a> (and more generally, anyone touching other people's “unusual” hair), and people touching pregnant women's bellies.<\/p>\n But there are obviously lots of other contexts where this applies, too, both minor and major.<\/p>\n There are, of course, exceptions. If you need to touch someone to avert imminent harm (like pulling them out of the way of a speeding car), for example, or if you're a parent or someone in a parental role. But the contexts I'm tallking about—and there are a lot of them—are contexts where the unwanted touch is not in fact for the other person's good.<\/p>\n ...And speaking of kids, I would say that even kids deserve a certain degree of body autonomy, where feasible. Parents obviously have to do a lot of things for the kid's own good, but in other contexts, it's nice for kids to have some autonomy. If you're a family friend or relative, for example, and a kid you like declines to hug you, then I recommend letting them make that decision for themselves, even at a pretty young age. I'm always sad when my friends' kids decide not to hug me goodbye—but I think their autonomy is more important than my wanting a hug.<\/p>\n