I\u2019ll be turning fifty in a couple weeks, and I haven\u2019t yet decided whether to have a party.<\/p>\r\n
As I noted to Karen this morning: On the one hand, parties are great! On the other hand, parties are terrible!<\/p>\r\n
I like the idea<\/em> of parties. Gathering together people I like, and hanging out with them! What\u2019s not to like?<\/p>\r\n But in practice, I find parties kind of exhausting. Hosting them is exhausting because of all the preparation required, and the darting around during the party to make sure everything\u2019s going smoothly and to fix stuff that breaks and to put out more crackers and make sure the guests aren\u2019t feeling neglected and so on. Attending them is exhausting because I\u2019m an introvert with at least a little social anxiety, so interacting with people costs me energy and causes me a certain amount of stress.<\/p>\r\n Also, I like the idea of having a nighttime party like I used to do back in the old days, but (a) my very quiet neighborhood probably wouldn\u2019t look kindly on the late-into-the-night noise levels involved, and (b) a nighttime party would make it harder for people to bring kids, which makes friends who have kids less likely to attend (and anyway, I like my friends\u2019 kids and would like to get to see them too).<\/p>\r\n Also, and this is the really big issue for this particular party, I\u2019m turning fifty. Which seems implausible to me; I don\u2019t feel<\/em> fifty. But in fact I am. And I don\u2019t want to admit it to myself, and having a party to celebrate seems like an acknowledgment of it that might make it real or something. And I don\u2019t want to make a big fuss out of it being a Big Round Number, but I haven\u2019t had a birthday party in years so it seems like having one for this birthday would be making even more of a fuss about it.<\/p>\r\n My plan in early 2017 was to have a 49th-birthday party last year, which would then have taken some of the pressure off this year. But I didn\u2019t get around to it.<\/p>\r\n There are, of course, various things I could do instead of a party. Go on an Adventure! (But I don\u2019t like Adventures.) Go out drinking! (But I don\u2019t drink.) Do a service day, inviting friends to join me in volunteering for something! (But that sounds likely to be even more exhausting and stressful for me than having a party.) Visit the Tactile Dome, or go Indoor Skydiving! (Would love to do both of those again sometime\u2014it\u2019s been years\u2014but both of them are much more suitable to small groups than to the large number of people I would invite to a party.) Go to a movie! Go out to dinner at a place I like! Stay home in bed with someone! (All fine plans, and all traditional Jed\u2019s-birthday activities, but none of them address the gather-lots-of-friends-together impulse that\u2019s driving the desire for a party.) Do taxes! (Not celebratory enough.)<\/p>\r\n (Btw, in case anyone was considering it, please don\u2019t have a surprise party for me.)<\/p>\r\n