{"id":3315,"date":"2006-01-07T20:24:28","date_gmt":"2006-01-08T04:24:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kith.org\/journals\/jed\/2006\/01\/07\/3315.html"},"modified":"2006-01-07T20:24:28","modified_gmt":"2006-01-08T04:24:28","slug":"lockpick-pornography-the-novel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/jed\/2006\/01\/07\/lockpick-pornography-the-novel\/","title":{"rendered":"Lockpick Pornography: The Novel"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I've posted a couple of times in the past year about Joey Comeau's short novel Lockpick Pornography<\/cite>--first when I first encountered it, when Joey was writing it a piece at a time and publishing it online, then later when I noticed that it was complete and that you could read most of it for free online, or order a paper copy of the whole thing.<\/p>\n

But I think most of you probably haven't gone and read it, so I'm going to talk about it again.<\/p>\n

This morning, two copies of the paper version of Lockpick Pornography<\/cite> arrived in my mail. (Thanks, Joey!) I took one of them up to San Francisco with me. Showed it to a few people, made them read the back cover (which made most of them smile and\/or laugh), then settled down to listen to Tim P's reading of an excerpt from Rangergirl<\/cite>. Which went well; I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the book. It sounded like Borderlands sold most or all of the copies of Rangergirl<\/cite> they had on hand, and Tim signed books, and we all hung around and chatted. And eventually I went to the counter and I bought Argosy<\/cite> issues 1 and 2, which I've been hearing about since they came out but had never seen 'til now, and I would've bought Polyphony<\/cite> vol. 5 but they were sold out.<\/p>\n

And then I showed Joey's book to the woman behind the counter (whose name I'm blanking on) and said, \"This isn't sf, but it's by a writer who also writes sf, and I kinda thought that the San Francisco bookselling community ought to know about it, so would it be okay if I gave you folks a copy of it and asked you to pass it along to anyone you think might be interested?\" And she said sure, so I gave her the book. (It might have been more in the spirit of the book to simply put a copy on one of the shelves and then let some customer try to buy it from them, but I thought the straightforward approach was more likely to get wider attention.)<\/p>\n

And then I got home and opened my remaining copy and re-read the first page and a half and laughed out loud through most of it. And it occurred to me that even though I'd pointed to the book here in my journal, I hadn't quoted it. So here are a couple of brief assorted excerpts to entice you to go read and\/or buy the book<\/a>. The version online is seven chapters long (and ends with \"The End\" at a reasonable stopping place, so it feels fairly complete); the printed version adds another three chapters at the end (and corrects some typos and such). The last three chapters are well worth reading, so I recommend buying the printed version.<\/p>\n

Here's the book's opening paragraph:<\/p>\n

\n

Halfway through the televised debate I kick my boot into the screen. Even on mute I can't stand it. It feels good to smash the TV, though. I feel like I'm participating in the political system. The candidate's head vanishes in a shower of glass and noise, and I stand there wondering why I let my knowledge that violence only makes things worse prevent me from being violent.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

A couple paragraphs later:<\/p>\n

\n

Richard answers on the first ring, and I say \"Where are you? I need you to drive me somewhere.\" I can hear a sound in the background, low repeated clunking of a headboard is my guess. \"Who answers the phone in the middle of fucking?\" I say, and Richard just laughs. The voice in the background says \"Who is it?\" and I hear Richard say something. The boy asks \"What's he wearing?\"<\/p>\n

\"What are you wearing?\" Richard asks me, and that's that. A half an hour is wasted on mediocre phone sex.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

I opened the book randomly just now and found the section where the protagonist goes into a big chain bookstore looking for gay children's books and ends up in the bathroom with a clerk:<\/p>\n

\n

While he sucks me I'm running my hand through his hair and I'm doing this fake voice the whole time. \"Good afternoon, is there anything I can help you find today?\" and \"Good evening sir, did you know about our storewide sale today? Everything is ten percent off. Also, we do blowjobs. Would you like a blowjob?\" I pause, and let out a small moan of encouragement. \"We're very good at it,\" I say.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Then there's this:<\/p>\n

\n

We're gonna hit the lesbian ball first, dressed in suits and fake mustaches, freshly shaved and calling ourselves drag kings. There's nothing more satisfying than going out dressed as a woman dressed as a man and having the girl at the door roll her eyes at you because she doesn't think you pass. I live for that moment.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

And:<\/p>\n

\n

\"What we need,\" I say to Richard, \"is a book called something like Grandpa's Gay! Maybe I Should Be, Too<\/cite>. But I don't think those make it past the editors very often, do they?\"<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

The book is outrageous, funny, sexy, angry, political, and full of fascinating genderfuck stuff and commentary about gender and sexuality. There's plenty that I disagree with the protagonist about, but pretty much every page provided food for thought and\/or made me laugh out loud.<\/p>\n

I'll leave you with part of the back-cover copy, which consists of modified excerpts from various parts of the book:<\/p>\n

\n

I feel better than I have in days. I want to make bumper stickers for politicians and gay rights advocates. They'll read, \"My other pro-tolerance message is also condescending.\"<\/p>\n

I want to destroy something.<\/em><\/p>\n

I'm tired of the moral high ground. We've already got more than our share of gay Gandhis. We need a General Patton.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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