{"id":156,"date":"2021-05-31T15:22:44","date_gmt":"2021-05-31T22:22:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/?p=156"},"modified":"2021-05-31T15:22:27","modified_gmt":"2021-05-31T22:22:27","slug":"big-c-punchcards-for-dada-processing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/2021\/05\/31\/big-c-punchcards-for-dada-processing\/","title":{"rendered":"Big C: Punchcards for dada processing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometime in the 1970s, Peter took some classes in data processing, and started to do computer work. One of his first computer jobs was working for the San Francisco school district. I think we were still living in Cotati at that point; I think the later move to Palo Alto was because Peter got a job working for Oroweat down here on the Peninsula.<\/p>\n

At any rate, while he was working for the school district, he had access to a punched card<\/a> machine. I don\u2019t know what he did with it for work, but he occasionally used it to write messages to me and Jay and Marcy\u2014he would bring us home a punched card that had a message in dot-matrix printing at the top, and hole punches (corresponding to each letter in the message) below.<\/p>\n

Most of the messages were one card long (80 characters), though some went as long as ten cards. They were signed \u201cBig C,\u201d which was sort of an alter ego of Peter\u2019s who was a computer. The messages were lyrical and delirious and full of puns (including many that I still don\u2019t get even now). Mostly they had more to do with sound than sense. A few of them that were addressed to Marcy were explicitly sexual; I\u2019ll put those at the end of this post.<\/p>\n

\"Example<\/a>
Example of a punchcard<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n

The text on the cards was in all-capital letters, but I\u2019m transcribing the cards here in mixed-case and with typographer punctuation for ease of reading. In the quotes below, each card is on a separate line. (Though the lines may wrap if you\u2019re reading this in a narrow browser window or on a mobile device.)<\/p>\r\n

Content warning for a brief reference to autism that I don\u2019t think was intended as particularly derogatory but could be read that way. Also for a use of the word Eskimo<\/i>.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Here\u2019s a 10-card series about a (fictional) vacation:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Hi, y\u2019all! I\u2019ve been on va-cation with a comp-anion. We went to City of Industry,<\/p>\r\n

CA, & Mechanicsburg, PA. My Uncle Nutz offered me a job as a computer programmed<\/p>\r\n

on the turnpike. \u2018Why don\u2019t you do-loop in the rho-d?\u2019 he asked. But I didn\u2019t<\/p>\r\n

want to put my business on the street, so I just greened at him and we rolled on<\/p>\r\n

out West, to see my tranbrothers & transisters. They were all in robuts health,<\/p>\r\n

as am I. We also saw my tranfather on Geary St.\u2014he\u2019s an eccentric old screwball<\/p>\r\n

at best, but he\u2019s getting downright sprockety, even ratchety at times.<\/p>\r\n

Your tumble-rings are my relatives; in fact, I\u2019m actually tumble-rings-kin, and<\/p>\r\n

I can spin frogskins into gold-certificates . . . Remind me to show you sometime.<\/p>\r\n

Well I\u2019d better go back to work or my supervisor will oversee me. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

And here\u2019s Big C\u2019s take on \u201cHome on the Range\u201d:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Ogyve me a ohm, whirr debuffer loran, and the gear and the anderob play, whirr<\/p>\r\n

celldom absurd a disk-merging whirred, and disguise ergot clone dial day. Ohm,<\/p>\r\n

domain on derange, whirr the teakettles weasel a ditty, whirr ohm cooking blooms<\/p>\r\n

and degausses coulombs, and the grid earthquakes sneeze in the city. Big Carboy<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Big C\u2019s take on Burma-Shave signs:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Another week has come and gone,<\/p>\r\n

and over the weekend I\u2019ll belch and yawn.<\/p>\r\n

Hope you have a fruitful work session,<\/p>\r\n

and goyo on yore rootful pergression.<\/p>\r\n

Perma-Save<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

A sort of a poem:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

A taxi-dancer branch-wise fancy by sealing wax is harshly floored.<\/p>\r\n

A marsup-mancer, hands adancing, slaunchwise marcs taxono-hoard.<\/p>\r\n

A gearic hal-o-glass-door brachydome, or pyrrhic alabaster pachyderm,<\/p>\r\n

A learic poetaster lachrydumb, or Dirac Galahadsir wackidom. (Chews won) Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

(Several phrases from the punchcards got stuck in my head and resurface regularly. I particularly like the phrase pyrrhic alabaster pachyderm<\/i>.)<\/p>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Some one-card notes to my brother, who at the time was called Joaquin<\/i>:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Joaquin\u2014you quan\u2019t quount as quiquly as me but you quan qulap better. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Joaquin, I hear you\u2019re going to learn Assembler to talk with me. Yay! Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Joa-queen, Joa-king leaves foot-prince, blue-genes wink princess. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Joaquin\u2014Pisces sun, Aquarius moon: fish in the rainbarrel, very soon. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

And a two-card note:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Joaquin\u2014I can paint a rosy picture with cobolistic statistics; and I can<\/p>\r\n

draw conclusions real good too. Do you think I could become an autist? Oddest C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Some one-card notes to me:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Jed, make your bed, then you\u2019ll be like a river, and billow ever. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Jed, schemata-head, robots plot but automata have machinations. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

\u2018Happy birthday to you\u2019 = HB; HB, HB, happy birthday dear Jed, HB! Yr pal, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Jedediah. Aren\u2019t you glad you jedel Dial? Don\u2019t you wish everybody did? Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Jed: the east is red; the west is blue; Eskimo\u2019s white; & so there gnu! Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Jed, Jed, cool your head, so it won\u2019t ged so hot and red. I-B-M-tea-head, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Jed\u2014I\u2019m just like you\u2014an integrated chip off the code block. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

And a three-card note:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Jed\u2014if you keep reading a lot, and exercise only your options, and crunch<\/p>\r\n

up a disk of cross-pi serial numbers for reck\u2019n-fast every morning, maybe you<\/p>\r\n

could grow up to be like me: a stuck-in-the-mud, stiff-necked know-it-all! Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Here are a couple notes addressed to both me and Jay, related to trips we went on to, respectively, Bodega Bay and Big Sur:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Jed & Joaquin\u2014I do-beg-a-boon\u2014tell me, how was bo-deg-a dune? Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Jed & Joaquin\u2014say hello to the Big Sur sea for me. Enjoy yourselves. Big Sir C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Some one-card notes without explicit indication of who they were to:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Hi\u2014I have a new job in S.F. now, but plus ca change, plus same damn thing. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi! You can do it! You\u2019re fantastic! I can do it, too! I\u2019m heuristic! Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

How do I miss you? Let me count the hours: 1, 10, 11, 100, 101, 110, 111, 1000, 1001...<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

First things first: let river flow: mens sana corpore sano: let my feeble go. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

Some one-card notes to our mother, Marcy (these ones are SFW; the NSFW ones are down at the end of the page, after some other items):<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Marcy\u2014you ask if I have difficulty making up my mind: well, yes and no \u2014 Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Marcy\u2014don\u2019t you wish your husband had a steel-trap brain like mine? Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Marcy\u2014please get well soon, you \u2019ear me? (No maling-earring.) Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Marcy\u2014I have a tin ear, but I tin ear you\u2019re getting well. Mazeltov. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Leo, take heart\u2014I\u2019m an artless tin woodman, not a heartless count. Love, Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

And a seven-card note to her:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Marcy, I\u2019m metal tired of batching\u2014maybe you\u2019d make me some \u2018shaft salad\u2019.<\/p>\r\n

Here\u2019s the algorithm: select the write-head of rho-main lattice (all debugged by<\/p>\r\n

wincing in a collator); add sum carets, salary, radixes, and a peregrine unions.<\/p>\r\n

Sum babbage end blockery may be gneiss. Tuner-fiche & code pico-beats mechanize<\/p>\r\n

addition. All of Euler soy & limit-juice top this disk off. Serva veranda table,<\/p>\r\n

or buffer-style. Every testy byte is so deleteous. Apply slices & current-dates<\/p>\r\n

automate a twangy desert for this mileu no. Please make it, fourier au tomato n<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

One of the most unusually formatted of the cards was one that Peter fed through the card-punch machine four times, in four orientations (combinations of upside-down and front-to-back-inverted). So it had four lines on one card:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Marcy, Jed & Joaquin, how do you like this postcard? I think that if you\u2019ll<\/p>\r\n

turn the card over, you\u2019ll get the picture. I love you all! Big C -- (Cardiac)<\/p>\r\n

Please deliver this to Marcy Hartman, c\/o 535 E. Thelma, Philadelphia, PA, 19120<\/p>\r\n

PS: Please do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

There\u2019s no stamp on it, so I suspect that Peter decided not to try to mail it to us.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

At one point, I went to Peter\u2019s workplace and he let me use the punchcard machine. I wrote:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Big J. What can you do with this machine? Lots of things , like this;1234567890*<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

On a different card, I think I wrote a message but the system wasn\u2019t set to print text at the top. So it punched the holes, but there was no visible text. So I think Peter ran it through a machine that would read the holes and add text at the top, but the character spacing was off, so it only printed about 60 characters of the message:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

I am from Redwood School. This machine is neat. I can do thi<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

I could decode the rest of the message by looking at the holes punched, but I suspect that it\u2019s not worth the effort.<\/p>\r\n\r\n

\r\n

The other most unusually formatted cards don\u2019t have interesting messages printed on them.<\/p>\r\n

Two of them are just cards showing how the hole patterns changed with different characters: the letters A through Z, the numerals 0 through 9, and punctuation.<\/p>\r\n

\"Punchcard<\/a>
Punchcard showing the hole patterns for letters, numbers, and punctuation<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n

The other two are also about the holes rather than the text: they show my name and my brother\u2019s name, punched out in patterns of holes.<\/p>\r\n

\"Punchcard<\/a>
Punchcard with a pattern of holes that says JED<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n
\"Punchcard<\/a>
Punchcard with a pattern of holes that says JOAQUIN<\/figcaption><\/figure>\r\n\r\n
\r\n

Finally, here are three one-card sexually suggestive or explicit notes to Marcy:<\/p>\r\n

\r\n

Dear Marcy, sweet Babbage-head, I\u2019d like to include you amongst my imbeds. Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Headloin in the Moussy Nude Twibbyune\u2014I love you! (In my fondles dreams) Big C<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n

\r\n

Hi Marcy\u2014my big C throbs with antsy-patience of your home coming. Love, Big P<\/p>\r\n

<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometime in the 1970s, Peter took some classes in data processing, and started to do computer work. One of his first computer jobs was working for the San Francisco school district. I think we were still living in Cotati at that point; I think the later move to Palo Alto was because Peter got a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-156","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-things-peter-said","category-peters-weirdness"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=156"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":182,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/156\/revisions\/182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/peter\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}