Anonymous, WWI era
I don't want to join the Army, I don't want to be a man of war
I just wanna hang around Picadilly underground,
Living off the earnings of a h-h-h-high born lady.
I don’t need no foreign women,
England’s full of girls I never had,
I wanna stay in England, jolly, jolly England,
Followin’ in the footsteps of me dad, Gorblimey.
Call out the guards at Windsor Castle,
Call out the King’s Artillery,
Call out my brother, my sister and my mother,
But for fuck's sake don't call me.
Monday night me hand was on her ankle,
Tuesday night me hand was on her knee,
Wednesday night, success, I lifted up her dress,
Thursday night I lifted up her silk chemi-ise,
Friday I got my hand upon it,
Saturday she gave my balls a tweak,
Sunday after supper, I stuffed the fucker up her,
And now I'm paying seven and six a week, Gorblimey.
I don't want to be a soldier, don't want to be a man of Mars,
I just wanna go down to old Soho,
Pinching all the girlies on the ... shoulder blades.
I don’t want a bayonet up my arsehole,
I don’t want my bollocks shot away,
I'd rather stay in England, merry, merry England,
And fornicate my fuckin’ life away!
Thank you,
-Vardibidian.