My Perfect Non-Reader as part of a Literacy Challenge (perhaps YHB should begin referring to her as My Perfectly Literate Non-Reader) received a homework assignment on Antonyms. Excellent, thought I to myself, antonyms are interesting and fun, and reasonably well-suited to her comprehension level. The assignment listed eleven verbs, with a space to write the antonym, and then a space to write a sentence using the antonym.\n
Wait—verbs? I think of antonyms as being more of a modifier thing. You know, high\/low, tall\/short, quick\/slow, neatly\/slowly, dark\/light, good\/evil. I know some verbs to have antonyms, often provided by the evil UnPeople, but you have to work to choose verbs that have antonyms. Aggregate\/disperse. Survive\/expire. Build\/destroy. Suck\/blow. All right, let’s look at her list.\n
First the example: Walk. Hmm. The opposite of walk<\/I> must be ... oh, since it’s an example, they’ve provided an antonym: run<\/I>. OK, I get that. It’s a slow\/fast thing. Then their example: I like to go for a run at dawn<\/I>. Um, that’s not really a verb, there, or at least, it’s not a terribly good example of a verb for six-year-olds. Why not I like to run at dawn<\/I>? Oh, I see, it’s not about verbs, its about Action Words. I just assumed that Action Word meant Verb, because, you know, Verb! It’s What’s Happening! But fine, Action Words mean, um, verbs and gerunds and words denoting action.\n
OK, number one: sit<\/i>. Opposite of sit<\/I>. MPN-R came up with stand<\/I>, which is pretty clearly what they are looking for.\n
Number two: quiet<\/I>. Um, action word? Yes, quiet<\/I> could be a verb, as in At nap time, I attempted to quiet the children<\/I>, but then its antonym would be ... rouse? Incite? Stir up? MPN-R chose loud<\/I>, which makes perfect sense, and was again clearly what they were looking for, as long as the Action Word part was being ignored.\n
Number three: awake<\/I>: Now, I think you can only use this as a verb in the imperative: Awake ye! Your time has come! The school bus is nigh!<\/I> In this sense, the antonym would be ... um ... Continue sleeping!<\/I> or Doze!<\/I> Anyway, MPN-R chose asleep<\/I>, which is one of them modifiers, and about the furthest thing from an Action Word I can imagine.\n
Number four: gallop<\/I>. That’s an action word. Gallop! And its antonym would be ... er ... um, well based on fast\/slow, the opposite of gallop<\/I> would be walk<\/I>, although I think you would have to accept limp<\/I>, straggle<\/I> or break a leg and have to be destroyed<\/I>. MPN-R chose stroll<\/I>.\n
Number five: read<\/I>. Oh, come on. What’s the opposite of read<\/I>? Anyone? Gentle Readers? MPN-R chose watch [tv]<\/I>, because she’s a nerd and a suck-up. I am so proud of her. I would have chosen write<\/I>.\n
Most of the others are actually fairly reasonable: go<\/I> (MPN-R chose stay), open<\/I> (close), push<\/I> (pull), unbutton<\/I> (button), zip<\/I> (unzip), draw<\/I> (write). Well, I’m not sure what YHB would have chosen for the antonym of draw<\/I>. Perhaps erase<\/I>. Or scribble<\/I>. But part of the fun of antonyms is that you can choose between them—What’s the opposite of big<\/I>? Tiny<\/I>? Or miniscule?<\/I> Does the opposite of ugly<\/I> have to be beautiful<\/I> or can it be wonderful<\/I> or even nice<\/I>? I assume there’s a game, tho’ I don’t recall even having played it, where one player says a word, and the other player says its opposite, and the first says the opposite of that opposite, and the second says the opposite of that<\/I>, back and forth and never repeating words.\n
Anyway, whatever my Perfect Non-Reader learned from this assignment, Your Humble Blogger learned that the phrase Action Word<\/I> has no meaning, or if it has a meaning, then the worksheet creators do not know it, and that crap worksheets get passed around and handed out pretty nearly indiscriminately. Implication: teachers are too busy to actually read the crap they hand out. Blame: oh, I don’t know, let’s see who should be blamed for any minor and major problems with our schools. Oh! That’s it! The teacher’s unions!\n
Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus<\/I>,
-Vardibidian.\n<\/p>\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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