A compendium of assorted quotes from my sardonic pal Jack Mantis.<\/p>\r\n
\r\nYou will never be alone with a poet in your pocket.<\/p>\r\n
\u2014John Adams<\/p>\r\n
So, John, is that a poet in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?<\/p>\r\n
\u2014Jack Mantis<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n
Assorted remarks (some of which originally appeared on my laws<\/a> page):<\/p>\r\n
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- Most people are in favor of freedom of speech\u2014for themselves and other correct thinkers.<\/li>\r\n
- Lesbian chic? Oh, it\u2019s just a phrase the country is going through.<\/li>\r\n
- Why do they call it \u201cMacOS\u201d? Because the name \u201cCheeriOS\u201d had already been trademarked by a breakfast cereal company.<\/li>\r\n
- Moderation in some<\/em> things.<\/li>\r\n
- Competence is always rewarded with more work.<\/li>\r\n
- Some try to forget the past; others, to repeat it.<\/li>\r\n
- If it ain\u2019t on the web, it ain\u2019t worth knowing. If it is on the web, it probably still ain\u2019t worth knowing.<\/li>\r\n
- To someone with a hammer, everything looks like a nail; to someone with a gun, everything looks like a target.<\/li>\r\n
- My tendency to exaggerate problems is the single most important issue facing humanity today.<\/li>\r\n
- The optimist says the moon is half-full; the pessimist says it\u2019s half-empty.<\/li>\r\n
- \u200eSecond-guessing yourself is for amateurs. I can usually fourth-guess myself, and once I got up to fifth.<\/li>\r\n
- We\u2019d better get to work\u2014that wheel isn\u2019t going to reinvent itself.<\/li>\r\n
- No tasks are urgent if you procrastinate long enough. If it\u2019s still urgent, then you haven\u2019t procrastinated long enough.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n
Quotes from specific works follow.<\/p>\r\n
\r\nA couple of items from The Patriotic Mantis<\/cite>:<\/p>\r\n
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- I\u2019d rather stand on my feet than kneel on my knees.<\/li>\r\n
- Be careful what you vote for; you might get it.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n
From The Chaotic Mantis<\/cite>:<\/p>\r\n
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- If they were serious about this \u201cChaos Theory\u201d thing, they would call it something like \u201chroToaCyhes.\u201d<\/li>\r\n
- If Bradbury\u2019s \u201cA Sound of Thunder\u201d were written today, it would be called \u201cThe Butterfly Effect.\u201d<\/li>\r\n
- Just one random number? Not random enough. Generate a hundred of them, and average them.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n
A couple of items from My Thoughts Are Deeper Than Yours, Jack<\/cite>:<\/p>\r\n
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- Urinals are a comforting sight\u2014they let you know that you haven\u2019t stumbled into the wrong bathroom. Unless you\u2019re a woman, of course.<\/li>\r\n
- Everyone is the hero of their own life story. Except me. In my life story, I\u2019m the villain.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n
Lines from The Mantis Family<\/cite>:<\/p>\r\n
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- Having children is hereditary. If your parents didn\u2019t, chances are you won\u2019t either.<\/li>\r\n
- Gray hair is hereditary; you get it from your kids.<\/li>\r\n
- Mantis\u2019s First Law of Babies: No plan survives contact with a baby.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n
Two bits from The Mantis Dictionary<\/cite>:<\/p>\r\n
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- Stereo<\/dt>\r\n
- Device for turning an electronic signal into noise.<\/dd>\r\n
- Tact<\/dt>\r\n
- The art of saying \u201cYou\u2019ve got your head up your ass\u201d as politely as possible.<\/dd>\r\n<\/dl>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n
Some of Jack\u2019s capsule summaries of movies can be found on my Mantis at the Movies<\/a> page. He did something similar with books, in Books I Never Read<\/cite>. Just one example from that:<\/p>\r\n
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- L...My Name Is Legion<\/cite><\/dt>\r\n
- Roger Zelazny contributes this 12th installment in the bestselling A...My Name Is Alice<\/cite> series.<\/dd>\r\n<\/dl>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n