{"id":17215,"date":"2018-04-02T09:38:57","date_gmt":"2018-04-02T16:38:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/?p=17215"},"modified":"2018-04-01T23:56:44","modified_gmt":"2018-04-02T06:56:44","slug":"walking-into-bars","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/2018\/04\/02\/walking-into-bars\/","title":{"rendered":"Walking into bars"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n<p>I really enjoyed this set of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gransnet.com\/forums\/pedants_corner\/1245702-A-Pedant-walks-into-a-bar\">\u201c\u2026walks into a bar\u201d jokes<\/a> about various aspects of language.<\/p>\r\n<p>Some examples:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<ul>\r\n  <li>A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.<\/li>\r\n  <li>A bar was walked into by the passive voice.<\/li>\r\n  <li>Two quotation marks walk into a \u201cbar.\u201d<\/li>\r\n  <li>A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>I\u2019m not sure what the original source of these is; anyone know?<\/p>\r\n<p>See also a couple of secret yets, in <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/1997\/06\/24\/yet-comments\/\">addenda to column y<\/a>.<\/p>\r\n<p>See also another <a href=\"http:\/\/www.funny2.com\/bar.htm\">list of walking-into-a-bar jokes<\/a>, which appears to have been updated extensively since <a href=\"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/2009\/04\/22\/walking-into-a-bar\/\">last time I linked to it<\/a>, in 2009. I\u2019m especially impressed by this one from that list:<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p>C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, \u201cSorry, but we don\u2019t serve minors.\u201d So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, \u201cExcuse me; I\u2019ll just be a second.\u201d Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, \u201cGet out! You're the seventh minor I\u2019ve found in this bar tonight.\u201d E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, \u201cYou\u2019re looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development.\u201d Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[45,50,15,99,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17215","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-grammar","category-jokes","category-malapropisms","category-music","category-puns"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17215"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17319,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17215\/revisions\/17319"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17215"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17215"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17215"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}