{"id":2638,"date":"1998-06-21T00:00:00","date_gmt":"1998-06-21T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/1998\/06\/21\/yyellowing\/"},"modified":"2018-01-14T20:40:54","modified_gmt":"2018-01-15T04:40:54","slug":"yyellowing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/1998\/06\/21\/yyellowing\/","title":{"rendered":"yy: Minced Spam"},"content":{"rendered":"\r\n\r\n<p>Arthur once received a piece of junk email with the subject line \"Priceless Information - 200 Unusual Secrets.\" It was apparently an advertisement for a collection of \"secret\" methods of doing things; the spam listed the titles of the secrets, but of course not the secret contents. Some of the secrets turned out to be a little odd, such as \"How to get rid of shiny pants\" and \"Trust poultry so it will stay.\" But what made the spam really entertaining was the two-column ASCII format with bad line breaks, which resulted in many secrets appearing to run together with the adjacent or subsequent secrets in the next column. Arthur derived this list of \"How-to hints for the dada generation\" from such overlaps.<\/p>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">How to remove a hot cake<br \/>\r\nMake dry cell batteries<br \/>\r\nPrevent kitchen stools<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">Keep fish hooks from rusting furniture<br \/>\r\nGet water out of your watch from china<br \/>\r\nMake your own silver<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">Prevent costume jewelry<br \/>\r\nGood dog &amp; cat repellent furniture<br \/>\r\nEliminate odors from disposal curtains<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">Easily reduced ashtray smell hangers<br \/>\r\nNo mess painting from a bucket cushion<br \/>\r\nA needle-sharpening pin<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">A novel paint can cover pants<br \/>\r\nDestroy desire for nicotine yellowing<br \/>\r\nFamous diet formula plan sweaters<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">Make your guitar really shine shoes<br \/>\r\nRepair scuffed baby<br \/>\r\nEasy needle threading (NEAT) while cooking<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">Keep vegetables green<br \/>\r\nWhat to do if you over salt food substitute<br \/>\r\nHow to make a fluffy egg<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<blockquote>\r\n<p class=\"stanza\">A fruit for constipation deodorizer<br \/>\r\nReduce wilting of root<br \/>\r\nGet rid of all cooking<\/p>\r\n<\/blockquote>\r\n<p>If you really want to, you can probably figure out what some of the original secrets were; for instance, a couple of the above items came from<\/p>\r\n<table><tr><td>\r\n<br \/>\r\nMake your guitar really shine\r\n<\/td>\r\n  <td>Repair scuffed baby<br \/>\r\nshoes\r\n<\/td>\r\n<\/tr><\/table><p>and another pair are a combination of \"No mess painting from a bucket\" and \"A needle-sharpening pin cushion.\" But it's probably not worth trying to reverse-engineer these; the results are more fun than the source.<\/p>\r\n\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2638","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-3-llowercase-2"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2638","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2638"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2638\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3365,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2638\/revisions\/3365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2638"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2638"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.kith.org\/words\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2638"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}