We discussed Chaye Sarah (23:1-25:18) at synagogue, and it was interesting and fun, even if (or perhaps because) we went in a different direction than I had expected. We wound up talking a good deal about Eliezer, and the way that he acts independently of Abraham. The idea of autonomy came up, Eliezer’s and Rebecca’s.
The other line of thinking was the way the story-telling focused us on certain things. One lad (not yet bar-mitzvah, but close) suggested that the purpose of the scene was not so much to point out Rebecca to Eliezer as to us; Eliezer would have found her anyway, of course, but we might not be convinced that she’s the best woman for the job. Another woman pointed out that there are two qualifications: lineage (Abraham’s criterion) and kindness (Eliezer’s). Because of the scene at the well, the kindness comes first; expressions of kindness after the betrothal or marriage would give a different emphasis.
Finally, I wound up spontaneously making the comparison with Saul offering his daughter in marriage to whoever kills Goliath (1 Samuel 17:25); I’d rather my Perfect Reader, when of marryin’ age, marry a camel-waterer than a giant-killer. I should note, I suppose, that Saul doesn’t make that vow himself, or is only rumored to make it. Also, that David does not marry the daughter in question, but a different daughter, much later, and that was the whole fleeing out the window story, so that whole vow isn't completed, if it even took place. Also, in Joshua 15:16 and Judges 1:12 Caleb offers his daughter Achsah’s hand to whoever takes the town of Kir'iath-se'pher, and that turns out rather well, particularly for Achsah. Jephthah’s vow (Judges 11:31-32), though, turns out rather badly. The four are compared in Leviticus Rabbah; there is a general tone of disapproval, although clearly Jephthah comes in for the worst of it (as well he should). Anyway, of the four vows, Eliezer’s comes out the best, and is the one made in the spirit of kindness.
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-Vardibidian.