OK, so Your Humble Blogger hasn’t been getting much joy out of reading the sports pages lately, and I don’t know why I decided to read Gwen Knapp’s column this morning, as it’s usually dreadful. This week’s is a rambling rumination about—gasp—homosexual athletes, or at least the possibility of them. It’s more or less inspired by this week’s Very Special episode of Queer Eye with five members of your World Champion Boston Red Sox as the Straight Guys for charity. And, you know, they are in a room with openly gay people, and no-one dies! It’s a miracle of tolerance!
Allow me to draw your attention to Ms. Knapp’s anecdote about Lindsy McLean, who for 24 years was one-toe-out-of-the-closet as the 49ers’ trainer. She downplays the verbal and physical abuse that the “many, many players” who “ignored the issue” also ignored, and points out that “When McLean's partner was sick, some politely inquired about his health.”
Is that just the saddest thing you have read today, or what? When his partner was sick, some—some—some—politely inquired about his health. You know, when I was living in San Francisco almost fifteen years ago, that was one of the things that really became obvious about a community that accepts everyone. You ask after your co-worker’s boyfriend or girlfriend. Not to be nosy, just ‘how’s Glenn’ and ‘fine, how’s Julie doing?’ It’s just a thing we take for granted, those of us who happen to be straight.
And, you know, Gwen Knapp’s heart is in the right place on this one. And it’s probably not her fault that the headline is in the form of a question. I’m just ... look, people are different, one from another, and that’s what makes the world interesting and fun, OK? Good grief.
chazak, chazak, v’nitchazek,
-Vardibidian.
I don’t know how the players view their trainer, whether he’s seen as akin to a coworker or friend, or as a more distant person in some respect. I never asked my orthopedists or physical therapists about their families, simply because it wasn’t that sort of environment. It’s possible that the same limited number of players would have asked after the trainer’s partner if the trainer had been straight. Hard to know without knowing the locker room culture.
But I agree with you that if many players didn’t ask after his partner because his partner was a man, that’s a damned shame.
I don’t actually know much about football, but in baseball, I believe, the trainer is as much a part of the team as, say, the bullpen coach. I would guess a far closer relationship than yours with your physical therapist, if only because your p.t. works for, essentially, anybody with an appointment, while the trainer is more clearly a co-worker, getting paid by the same guy who pays the players.
Mostly, though, I was just stunned, not just by the idea that most didn’t ask (I presume) because they didn’t approve, but by the idea that asking, or ordinary politeness, was a sign of how far things had come, even if it was only a few people who did it. And also, as I said, it’s one of those things I take for granted in my own (het) life, and an illustration of how broadly the social stigma affects seemingly unimportant things.
Thanks,
-V.