And the best part is, nobody pays taxes! At least, nobody important.

OK, Laurence J. Kotlikoff in the Boston Globe tells me that We are all uninsured now. Well, OK, that’s not true, only some of us are actually uninsured but

the rest of us with health coverage are also uninsured. We too face terrible, albeit more remote, healthcare risks—the risk that our employer will drop our plan, that Medicare will go bust, that our plan won't cover our needs, that premiums will eat us alive, that our doctor will stop taking our insurance, that long-term care will wipe us out, and that our uninsured friends and family members will need major financial help.

So what do we need? Isn’t it obvious? We need insurance insurance. I think Gerber is the obvious vendor, but it doesn’t really matter. Here’s how it works: When your baby is born, you can get security for his or her future at an affordable price. At a very reasonable premium, which can be paid electronically—saving you stamp money!—you can rest in the comfort that if your child should at some point be denied health insurance, your insurer will pay the full cost* of entering him or her into a full-service, multiple-point of service health care plan, which you can choose from our family of providers.

Do you worry about losing your family’s coverage? Do you worry that your employer will someday be bought out by ToTalBasTardInc**? Do you worry that your benefits are being managed by people who answer only to stockholders? Sure, you could join a union and use the power of collective bargaining to shore you up against the uncertainties of corporate capitalism, but we both know that’s not going to happen—unions are for lazy, low-class, corrupt losers. No, you can get peace of mind the free market way: with insurance insurance!

Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,
-Vardibidian.

* full cost includes only the full cost of inclusion into group health care, not the full cost of insurance. Premiums excluded.

**ToTalBasTardInc is a fictional entity. Any similarity between ToTalBasTardInc and any real corporations, say, for instance, Nestlé is entirely coincidental. Mmmmmm, shared value.