OK, you have to understand, Gentle Readers, that I am culturally ignorant. Stuff just passes me by. I don’t watch much television, and I specifically don’t watch much football, and I really specifically don’t watch many television ads. I find the whole Super Bowl Ad thing to be bizarre and best ignored. The sixty-second ad is an artform I can perfectly happily forgo.
Now, I suspect that among the Gentle Readers of this Tohu Bohu there are others like YHB, who do not watch the Big Ads with the sort of breathless sensawonda that those who pay millions of dollars for them anticipate. So you may be blissfully unaware, as was YHB, of a Super Bowl ad wherein GM tells the sad story of one of the robotic arms on their assembly line who—gasp!—drops a screw. The assembly line stops. The robot is immediately fired. No second chances, here at GM. The robot takes up temporary work holding signs, but is evidently unable to keep even those menial jobs, in part because he is always distracted by the fancy GM cars that pass him by on dramatically lit streets. Eventually, our sad robot flings himself from a bridge into the dark water below—but wait! It was all a dream! Really, he’s not a robot at all, but an actual human, with a wife and a kid and a mortgage and heating bills up the ass and a recurring cough and a bad left knee and an empty pension fund. Whew. And he didn’t drop a screw after all. He still has a job. And health insurance. Today. Unless he drops a screw.
GM. Hey, here’s a nice slogan: Quality Products, not Quality of Life. Except for the crappy products, I suppose.
Or how about this one: GM—you’re screwed!
Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,
-Vardibidian.
or… a person who always dreamed of making it big as the next famous brand mascot loses their pants during a live-broadcast product launch. from then on, our hero is unable to hold a series of incredibly repetitive manual labor jobs because commercials showing on break room televisions bring on spasms. it’s a dream; the hero is a dolphin at an aquatic park.
second thought: robot, mexican, what’s the diff.