This is a second draft of a note to Senator Kerry; the first draft was too long, and not clear enough. I hope this version is clearer; I know it’s shorter, and I hope it’s short enough. Further help would be appreciated. It’s nice to know editors.
Senator Kerry,
First, congratulations and well done. You show no sign of needing advice, so, of course, I join the rush to provide it. I won’t be the first person to point out that you need to create a frame, through which citizens can interpret your actions and those of President Bush. I don’t know whether I’ll be the first to put it like this: President Bush and his Inner Circle betrayed ordinary Republicans by their incompetence, cronyism and secrecy. I happen to believe this is true, and I know there are Republicans who are already saying it in public. I also doubt this will convince most Republicans to vote for you, but nothing will. I do think that it could well be a frame that most independents will believe, and which will keep them from voting for him.
My advice is inspired by FDR’s nomination speech in 1932. If you haven’t read it recently, I think you would enjoy it; much in it relates to its time, of course, but a couple of points that President Roosevelt makes right at the beginning of his speech, can be adapted and adopted for your own. First, he broke with tradition by actually appearing at the convention; he turns this presumption into a symbol not only of his forward-looking style, but of his essential openness and honesty. You are in a similar position; most of the country thinks the entire Convention is a sham. Between now and that Convention, show that you are not the sort of person who delights in sham.
Our current administration is obsessively secretive. Secrecy breeds distrust. I think that you can convince many people that you would be a different sort of President, and a better one, by showing your disdain for pretense, for unnecessary secrecy, and for sham. Remind people of the process by which Dick Cheney chose the Vice-Presidential nominee in 2000, and contrast it with a process that is clearly as open as good taste, courtesy, and respect will allow. Whether you announce that choice before the convention, or decide that it would be presumptuous to do so, make it clear what you are doing.
Decide what purpose you want this summer’s Convention to actually serve, and announce that purpose. Introduce your speechwriters, and discuss in an interview how useful they are in helping you articulate your thoughts. Another high-risk possibility is to underline the insularity of the current administration by having some of your advisors and staff admit to some minor policy differences with you, and your amicable discussions about them. Make it clear that you are starting as you mean to go on, as FDR did, by saying what he was doing, and by doing what he said.
Also in the speech, President Roosevelt made it clear that he was criticizing the Republican leadership, rather than the Republican Party. He says, “Here and now I invite those nominal Republicans who find that their conscience cannot be squared with the groping and the failure of their party leaders to join hands with us...”
Please, Senator, recognize that the leadership of the Republican Party has once again failed the membership of that Party. Please make it clear that the current administration does not serve the interests of Republican voters. And please, please make it clear that you do not criticize Republican voters, and you have no ill-will towards them. Their President has betrayed them far more than he has betrayed us. This administration is the administration of the elite within the Republican Party, rather than the Republican Party. Many Republicans will find that they cannot square their consciences, not with the groping and failure of their leaders, which is bad enough, but by the greed, secrecy, and insularity of those leaders.
Ultimately, you will frame the choice voters will make. The choice will be between a President who works in secrecy, to the benefit only of a few, and who ignores the people who supported him; and a Senator who will govern openly, honestly, and transparently, to the benefit of all.
Redintegro Iraq,
-Vardibidian.
In lieu of useful critique, I have two fluffy editing comments, a meddlesome interference, and a question:
(fluffy edit) The placement and italics of the “betrayed ordinary Republicans” is better, but it could stand out even more. Your letter will probably get a second or two to catch a staffer’s eye; italics embedded in a paragraph can be hard to read quickly. You might consider bold or placing your point in its own line.
(fluffy edit) I’m unfamiliar with the comma usage of “create a frame, through which citizens can interpret…” and “couple of points that President Roosevelt makes right at the beginning of his speech, can be adapted…”. I’m pretty sure the comma closest to the end of your first paragraph should be dropped, though.
(meddlesome interference) Your later comments about the power of transparency might deserve the same kind of strong, independent statement as the betrayal point.
(question) “the process by which Dick Cheney chose the Vice-Presidential nominee”? I’m embarrassed to admit that the reference is lost on me. I’m sure it wouldn’t be lost on a Kerry staffer — I’m just asking for my own edification.
The so-called ‘fluffy’ edits are the most important; I don’t mind looking like an idiot on my blog (where Gentle Readers are used to it), but I don’t want to get the commas wrong in the final version. Thank you.
As for Dick Cheney, the nominee presumptive asked Dick Cheney to be his point person for vetting the various choices for Vice-President. He came up with a short list, crossed off all the names on it, and added his own. It was funny, in that way that things that aren’t funny at all are funny.
It was even funnier that Mr. Cheney was constitutionally disqualified at the time he chose himself, being a resident of the same state as the nominee.
R.I.
-V.
A few suggestions, in an incorporated form:
Senator Kerry,
First, congratulations and well done. Now that you have won the nomination, you need to shape the frame through which voters can interpret your actions and those of President Bush. A critically important point to repeat at every opportunity is this: President Bush and his Inner Circle betrayed ordinary Republicans by their incompetence, cronyism and secrecy. I know there are Republicans who are already saying this in public, and it must be repeated from all sides. This could well be the key point that brings swing voters to your side.
My advice is inspired by FDR’s nomination speech in 1932. President Roosevelt broke with the tradition of his time by actually appearing at the Convention; he turned this presumption into a symbol of his essential openness and honesty. Having secured the nomination this far ahead of the Convention, you need to do the same. Show that you are clearly different from President Bush in your openness and honesty.
Our current administration is obsessively secretive, and secrecy breeds distrust. You can convince many people that you would be a better President by showing your disdain for pretense, for unnecessary secrecy, and for sham. Remind people of the self-serving process by which Dick Cheney chose the Vice-Presidential nominee in 2000, and contrast it with a process that is clearly as open as good taste, courtesy, and respect will allow. Whether you announce that choice before the convention, or decide that it would be presumptuous to do so, make it clear what you are doing.
Decide what purpose you want this summer’s Convention to actually serve, and announce that purpose. Introduce your speechwriters, and discuss in an interview how useful they are in helping you articulate your thoughts. Another high-risk possibility is to underline the insularity of the current administration by having some of your advisors and staff admit to some minor policy differences with you, and your amicable discussions about them. Make it clear that you are starting as you mean to go on, as FDR did, by saying what he was doing, and by doing what he said.
President Roosevelt also made it clear in his nomination speech that he was criticizing the Republican leadership, rather than the Republican Party. He said in part, “Here and now I invite those nominal Republicans, who find that their conscience cannot be squared with the groping and the failure of their party leaders, to join hands with us.”
Please, Senator, recognize that the leadership of the Republican Party has once again failed the membership of that Party. Make it clear that the current administration does not serve the interests of Republican voters. Make it clear that you do not criticize Republican voters, and you have no ill-will towards them. Their President has betrayed them far more than he has betrayed us. This administration is the administration of the elite within the Republican Party, not the Republican Party as a whole, and certainly not the country as a whole. Many Republicans will find that they cannot square their consciences with the groping and failure of their leaders, and certainly not with the greed, secrecy, and insularity of those leaders.
Right now you have an opportunity to frame the choice voters will make. Give them a choice between a President who works in secrecy to the benefit of the few and who ignores the people who supported him, and a Senator who will govern openly, honestly, and transparently, to the benefit of all. Give voters that choice, and voters will choose you.
A few suggestions, in an incorporated form:
Senator Kerry,
First, congratulations and well done. Now that you have won the nomination, you need to shape the frame through which voters can interpret your actions and those of President Bush. A critically important point to repeat at every opportunity is this: President Bush and his Inner Circle betrayed ordinary Republicans by their incompetence, cronyism and secrecy. I know there are Republicans who are already saying this in public, and it must be repeated from all sides. This could well be the key point that brings swing voters to your side.
My advice is inspired by FDR’s nomination speech in 1932. President Roosevelt broke with the tradition of his time by actually appearing at the Convention; he turned this presumption into a symbol of his essential openness and honesty. Having secured the nomination this far ahead of the Convention, you need to do the same. Show that you are clearly different from President Bush in your openness and honesty.
Our current administration is obsessively secretive, and secrecy breeds distrust. You can convince many people that you would be a better President by showing your disdain for pretense, for unnecessary secrecy, and for sham. Remind people of the self-serving process by which Dick Cheney chose the Vice-Presidential nominee in 2000, and contrast it with a process that is clearly as open as good taste, courtesy, and respect will allow. Whether you announce that choice before the convention, or decide that it would be presumptuous to do so, make it clear what you are doing.
Decide what purpose you want this summer’s Convention to actually serve, and announce that purpose. Introduce your speechwriters, and discuss in an interview how useful they are in helping you articulate your thoughts. Another high-risk possibility is to underline the insularity of the current administration by having some of your advisors and staff admit to some minor policy differences with you, and your amicable discussions about them. Make it clear that you are starting as you mean to go on, as FDR did, by saying what he was doing, and by doing what he said.
President Roosevelt also made it clear in his nomination speech that he was criticizing the Republican leadership, rather than the Republican Party. He said in part, “Here and now I invite those nominal Republicans, who find that their conscience cannot be squared with the groping and the failure of their party leaders, to join hands with us.”
Please, Senator, recognize that the leadership of the Republican Party has once again failed the membership of that Party. Make it clear that the current administration does not serve the interests of Republican voters. Make it clear that you do not criticize Republican voters, and you have no ill-will towards them. Their President has betrayed them far more than he has betrayed us. This administration is the administration of the elite within the Republican Party, not the Republican Party as a whole, and certainly not the country as a whole. Many Republicans will find that they cannot square their consciences with the groping and failure of their leaders, and certainly not with the greed, secrecy, and insularity of those leaders.
Right now you have an opportunity to frame the choice voters will make. Give them a choice between a President who works in secrecy to the benefit of the few and who ignores the people who supported him, and a Senator who will govern openly, honestly, and transparently, to the benefit of all. Give voters that choice, and voters will choose you.