So, Gentle Reader, I’m sure that you have already decided that you have better things to do than to worry about that essay everybody keeps blogging, where Orson Scott Card debunks the Force. Or something. His conclusion appears to be that “it might not be such a good thing if the Star Wars films become the first movies to lead to a real-world religion.” Ohhhhhh-kay. Let’s put that to a vote, shall we? Everyone who agrees with that, go out through that door, and everyone who thinks it would be just swell for the Star Wars films to lead to a real-world religion go through this door over here, and wait in the padded room until the nice man in the white coat comes with lunch.
No, really, what he’s examining is why people call themselves Jedi. That is, he notes that some people have filled in “Jedi” on census reports and, according to Mr. Card, consider the Force their personal savior. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh-kay. I’m putting the over-under at, oh, let’s be generous, twenty. Everybody who thinks that there are fewer than twenty people in the world who realio trulio think of themselves as Jedi and consider the Force as their personal savior, go out through that door, and everybody who thinks there are more than twenty such people go through this door over here, and wait in the padded room until the nice man in the white coat comes with dinner.
Well, now, I think that’s the end of that issue, yes? Oh, no, I forgot, I was going to mock Mr. Card a trifle more. You see, Mr. Card refutes the Force, or its followers, or whatever the fuck he’s talking about, with lots of references to RatS. So, now, Gentle Readers, what to you figure is a fair over-under for number of people who relio-trulio think of themselves as Jedi, and came to do so only after watching RatS, but before Mr. Card’s column on or around the 21st of the month? Let’s see, think think think ... would one be too high? Is it possible that somebody might seriously think that more than one person seriously adopted the Jedi faith due to its portrayal in EpiThree? No, it isn’t possible. No, I can’t really imagine that Mr. Card thinks that, either.
So, um, what was he thinking, exactly?
Tongue implanted firmly in soft tissue horizontally adjacent to molars
So, Gentle Blogger, I’m sure that you have already decided that it was a bad idea to criticize Orson Scott Card, my own personal Jesus. Or something. Your conclusion appears to be that it might not be such a good thing if the deranged ramblings of a washed-up sci-fi writer become the first essay to lead to a serious discussion of some sort. Ohhhhhhh-kay. Let’s put that to a vote, shall we? (Up or down, of course, in deference to David.) Doors, white coats, lunch. Mmmm, lunch.
No, really, what you’re examining is why writers choose absurd premises and then explore them as if they’re not absurd premises. That is, you analyze Orson Scott Card’s essay and even quote from it as if it were intended to have some content. Ohhhhhhhhhhh-kay. You clearly haven’t read most of his books. Doors, white coats, dinner. Mmmmmm, dinner.
Well, now, I think that’s the end of that post, yes? Oh, no, I forgot, I was going to mock Vardibidian some more. You see, our Gentle Blogger refutes Mr. Card, or his commenters, or whoever the fuck he’s talking about, with lots of references to insane asylums. So, now, Gentle Readers, what do you figure is a fair over-under for how long it takes someone to similarly mock our Gentle Blogger? Let’s see, think think think … would 45 minutes be too high?
So, um, how long until this comment is deleted, exactly?
delete me, seymour.
AUTHOR: Anonymous
COMMENT ID: 5384
DATE: 05/26/2005 15:48:44
Hmmm. Twenty minutes?
And I’m embarrassed to say I think I have read most of Mr. Card’s books. In fact, Good Lord! Going through the ISFDB entry, it looks like I’ve read more than twenty of his novels, which I wouldn’t have guessed. And sadly, I can’t claim to have read any of his biblical novels because, see, it was a library book, and I had just barely kept my hands from ripping the first twenty pages up, and I figured I had better just give it back.
Oh, feh, and now there are more messages, and the blank one I really should delete.
Thanks,
-V.
“these are worthy nominees who deserve a kangaroo.” “mama, can i have a kangaroo?” “no! only grownups can sever a federal bench.”
some of the changes from 4-6 to 1-3 about how the force works seemed strangely dianetic but that’s beside the point.
the point is, kung fu is way cooler than the force. it will always be more fun to call out attacks than to say that the dark side is strong with people. tiger elbow! poison squid fist! blind monkey beam! nostrils of infinite justice!
“nostrils of infinite justice”
Hee, hee, ahhh, ha ha ha hah! Hee!