Plastic! Living Plastic!

I’m not sure that Gentle Readers will all have seen Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert’s column over at Redstate called The Choice Could Not Be Clearer. The concluding paragraph has been making the rounds:

In short, Democrats do not believe in the Global War on Terror. I don't mean that they don't support it, though they don't. What I mean is Democrats don't believe the war actually exists. While Republicans believe the biggest threat to American freedom and security is the evil ideology that planned and executed the murder of 3,000 of our countrymen five years ago, and continues planning today, Democrats think the biggest threat to America is... Republicans.

The choice, as I said, could not be clearer.

Now, most of what the Speaker earlier in the piece claims to be Democratic positions are not recognizable to me as such. Most Democrats do not, it seems to me, support the foreign policies that were in place before the eleventh of September, 2001. The party platform is not “opposed [to] any effort to seal America's borders from infiltration”; we oppose some efforts and support others, based partly on effectiveness and partly on issues of constitutional or human rights. Some Democrats opposed the Patriot Act and others did not. As for “recent legislation necessary to allow our troops to interrogate terrorist prisoners”, there has been no such legislation; interrogation, within the bounds of humane treatment, required no legislation, nor was any such legislation proposed or voted on. Unless, of course, he thinks torture is necessary for interrogation, and by “terrorist prisoners” he means people not convicted or even charged with crimes, and he meant to imply entirely without judicial oversight. But I digress.

Do Democrats believe in the War on Terror? I mean, that it exists? It’s hard for me to say. I have been paying moderately close attention this cycle, and I don’t recall hearing any of our Party’s candidates saying that they don’t believe that the War on Terror exists. But then, they might be hiding their true beliefs. Certainly, there are some people who I expect will vote for Democratic nominees who have stated their disbelief. Such statements tend to be sub rosa, though. I have to wonder. I mean, it’s hard to believe that all the Democratic candidates believe that Our Only President and his cronies and incompetents are fighting Terror. Or even that our foreign policy is aimed at diminishing the capacities of organizations that regularly use terror tactics, defined narrowly. Certainly, the idea that all of the policies and activities included in the WoT are actually terror-related is ... far-fetched. Still, it’s not like Equality and Liberty—I can say with confidence that Democrats (using the term loosely) believe (using the term loosely) in Equality (using the term loosely), but however I use the terms, it’s harder to say that Democrats believe in the War on Terror.

Now, as to the next claim, that “Republicans believe the biggest threat to American freedom and security is the evil ideology that planned and executed the murder of 3,000 of our countrymen five years ago, and continues planning today”. Do they believe that? Well, the fellow who is saying it was elected to head the Republican Party’s lower house contingent, and to preside over the House, so perhaps he is qualified to say so. Again, I think he’s using his terms loosely, but they are not terms that get firmer in a tight grip. On the other hand, they do have, you know meanings. But not necessarily easy ones. I am an American—is al-Qaeda the biggest threat to my freedom and security? No, obviously not. The odds that I will develop some debilitating condition that restricts me to a vulnerable sickbed are far greater, as are the odds that I will be killed by someone I know. Or be struck by lightning. Heck, the odds that I will commit a crime, be caught and convicted and sent to a prison are greater than the odds that al-Qaeda will directly interfere with my life in any way. Your odds may be different—I don’t just mean you may estimate them differently, which of course you will, but that you may live or work or travel through some area that is more likely to be hit. So the question really shouldn’t be about me and my freedom and security. But is there really an existential threat to the US? Really? Do Republicans really think that al-Qaeda and their ... whatever you call them, let’s go ahead and call them fellow idealogues for the sake of argument, present an threat to the United States’s’sses freedom and security greater than that posed by, oh, let’s pick five, global warming, cultural drift, the eschaton, bird flu, and Autons? Heck, five more, I’m on a roll: Hollywood values, nanotech, Jedi-trained rebel knights, population decline, and population increase. Any of those things, yes, even the fictional ones, are greater threats to the continued existence, independence, freedom of action, and security of this country than the “evil ideology” that has Speaker Hastert so panicked.

So, do Democrats think Republicans are the greatest threat to America? Well, let’s make it clear, the number of Democrats who think that people who vote for Republican candidates constitute a threat to America is miniscule. Do I think that the Our Only President and his cadre of cronies and incompetents is the greatest threat to America? No. Are they a greater threat than al-Qaeda? Well, obviously. Getting lucky, and when they had more of a free hand than they are ever likely to again, the bastard brigands from Saudi Arabia managed to murder one one-thousandth of one percent of the population of our country. If the Republicans really tried, at the moment, having control of the Congress and the Executive, they could certainly slaughter as much as one percent in a reasonable scenario, and perhaps ten percent in one as totally Dr. Strangelove crazy as what actually happened when the World Trade Center was destroyed.

In other words, if I were ranking threats, I’d have to put Republicans ahead of al-Qaeda, the Autons, and Jedi-trained rebel knights. Call them seventh. I’m not sure how I would rank the others, but I’m sure that whatever actually does, eventually, pose a serious threat to our country’s freedom and security won’t be on that list. Not to say the choice in this election isn’t clear. Let’s just say the choice is between a Party that put someone who would say something like that in what certainly ought to be the second or third spot of honor in our nation, and my Party.

chazak, chazak, v’nitchazek,
-Vardibidian.