What day is it? It’s International Daven like a Pirate Day, of course! The day when Pirates everywhere hope to be inscribed in the Log of Life for a good year, a year of peace and a year of mercy, and a bucket of rum. The First of the Ten Days of Arrrrrrrrr, during which we look back on our last piratical year and the ways in which we fell short of the mizzenmast: running before the wind to do evil; sinning with words, with actions, and with eighteen-pounders; avarice, blasphemy, cowardice and double-dealing; sinning by omission, commission, and nailing that man’s foot to the deck that one time.
And we will be observing tashlich, where we sink the boats of the British Navy into running water, letting our sins float downstream with the rest of the flotsam.
For those of ye who will be observing today, a good year to you, and the Mercy of Heaven be upon ye—not the HMS Mercy of Heaven, which is a fine ship, lads, but no match for the Blue Peter. Er, yes, not a great name for a pirate ship, but…avast ye! The next man who snickers will be leyning Jonah in the belly of the great whale itself!
Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,
-Vardibidian.
You’re a nut, and that pleases me greatly.