I read a line the other day, in an interview with a successful actor who is just about my age, that the great thing about middle-age is having a lifetime of experience behind you and also ahead of you. And I thought—yeah, that’s pretty much right.
That kinda resonated with an Ian McKellen line about playing Hamlet this year, where he observed that when he was a young actor in repertory, he frequently played older men. In this case, he has the memory of being thirty to draw on; when he was young, he had no memory of being old.
I have had a largely uneventful life, thank goodness, so there are an awful lot of things that I haven’t experienced. But at this point, there are a huge number of things that were scary and new the first time that I won’t ever do for the first time again. I’ve traveled to another country; I’ve been mugged; I’ve been married; I’ve had successful surgery. I’ve bought a car and a house. I’ve cooked various kinds of food, and eaten various kinds of food. I’ve had physical therapy. I’ve been short of rent money. I’ve had disposable income. I’ve paid off a student loan. I’ve raised children. I’ve screwed up and had my electricity cut off and had to have it turned on again. I’ve been laid off. I’ve lost friends and sometimes reconnected with them. I’ve had the basement flooded. I’ve gone swimming in the ocean.
I graduated from college more than ten thousand days ago. In another five thousand or so, if everything goes well, I will be retirement age. It’s not that nothing scares me any more—lots of things scare me now, maybe even more than when I was thirty. It’s that the vast array of things that are likely to happen to me are things I have already done, or are a lot like things I have already done, or things that I’ve supported close friends and family as they’ve gone through them or done them. I don’t feel unprepared for a lot, these days. Scary things will happen; I will probably handle them like I handled the scary things that have already happened. Awesome things will happen; I will probably handle them like I handled the awesome things that have already happened.
And if I can say this in the middle (or just maybe close to the end) of a pandemic, then really: I am middle-aged now.
It’s pretty awesome.
Tolerabimus quod tolerare debemus,
-Vardibidian.
Have you heard of The Happiness Curve, by Jonathan Rauch? I’ve only heard it discussed, and not read it; but the discussions of it made it sound interesting.
I have heard of it, but not read it. For what it’s worth, demographically and statistically I should still be at the bottom of that curve—but my life may not be typical.
Thanks,
-V.