Your Humble Blogger happened to spot an ad recently for a washer and dryer from LG, you know, the company that makes the refrigerator with the television on the front. The cool thing about these, though? A remote monitor. That’s right, you can sit in the living room and check to see if the laundry is done. Oh, yeah. That’s labor-saving.
And, you know, there isn’t any particular aspect of this that is breakthrough. Many (most?) new machines have their status information displayed electronically, not just on the dial that goes around; they essentially ‘know’ when they are done. It’s not that hard to hook that up to a reader in another room, or that you clip to your belt. I mean, it might be hard to do it cheaply, but somehow I don’t think LG is worried about that. It might be depressing that Your Humble Blogger will never own a washing machine that cool, but it’s still cool that they make ’em.
No, the depressing part was that my reaction was that if they can do that, it should be easy enough to put the status on-line so you could check it over the internet. “Why?” asked my Best Reader. So, I explained, if you are, um, if you don’t, I mean if you are away from the, oh, never mind. So you can check from the office to see if I’m doing the laundry? I mean, just possibly, I could see a moment when I put the laundry in, go out poolside, and bask until I get the IM that it’s time for the dryer. Yeah, right.
Well, reaching here, I suggested that a laundromat might put the status of its machines on-line, and when you drop off the laundry, you note the number and go sit in the Why Fie coffeehouse, and occasionally check to see if your clothes are ready for the dryer. Of course, it would cost a little more, I figured. “Why not just have them do the laundry?” Because, um, because there’s a status thing involved, right? I mean, having somebody do your laundry is like hiring a servant, but having your dryer IM you is like, um, something cooler than that, right?
So, given that you can’t put your laundry in the machine remotely, or move it from the washer to the dryer, or sort it, or anything like that, is there any way in which having the info on-line is better than having a remote monitor? I get having the heater and AC on-line, with controls and all, so you can cool the place down or heat it up before you get home, and I get having your television recorder connected, so you can decide at noon to record a show at one, so surely there must be a coolness factor here I’m missing, right?
chazak, chazak, v’nitchazek,
-Vardibidian.
Well, in our place, the washer and dryer are down the stairs, around the back of the building, and down more stairs, so if they would IM us when they were done, it would actually be incredibly useful.
Also, of course, in The House of the Future all of these devices will be networked, so that, for example, if you have a limited amount of hot water, you can tell the dishwasher to run after the washing machine is finished, and you can go off to work.
Other ideas:
You can put the clothes in the dryer, but start it remotely, so you can have toasty warm clothes to change into when you get home on a cold rainy day.
You can remotely obtain an estimate of when drying will finish, based on the rate of change of moisture level in the clothes, so you can plan on whether the baby’s onesie will be ready before you have to leave for daycare.
Of course, we have to be careful — when you open something like this up to the internet, it’s virtually certain that there will be a security hole that allows script kiddies from Romania to, I don’t know, tie all of your underwear in knots.
Well, and I was assuming there wouldn’t be waldoes in the washer. I’m not sure why, as they could be useful… And I’m not worried about script kiddies from Romania, I’m worried about John Ashcroft getting into my dirty laundry. Even though he’s not in office anymore. Not back in office. Can the Chief Justice issue himself search and wiretap warrants, or would that constitute extraordinary circumstances?
Seriously, in your building, would an IM be more useful than a little single-purpose remote display, detached from the machine when you start it, and plugged into an outlet? And as for the onesie, it won’t stay dry long anyway. More useful would be a sensor indicating if the Emergency Backup Outfit has been replaced in the trunk of the car.
Thanks,
-V.
I swear I heard a few years back about a college whose dorm laundromats showed laundry status online. I can’t remember where. I think the main attraction was that students would go down and move their laundry around more quickly, thus freeing up the machines that much more quickly.
Me, I know when our washer is done when the floor stops vibrating.
Indeed:
http://www.esuds.net
these are all lame placeholders for nanobacterial self-cleaning clothes. i’m saving my money.
BTW on the planet where i live, washing machines and dryers have these things called timers which tell you how long it will take until they are done. comparing this time with something called a watch, or perhaps for the advanced user, utilizing the untapped capabilities of a kitchen timer can solve many problems related to discovering the state of a particular laundry cycle
The planet where you live must be very nice, David. On the planet where i live, i am pretty sure the washer takes about 35 minutes, but it might be 45, or even 50. (The washer itself does not report this information to the user.) So, i put my clothes in the washer, then i go back to my computer, write an e-mail, reload some blogs, and think “Huh, if i had thought to check what time i had put the laundry in, i would know to within 15 minutes when they’d be done.”
If i am lucky, the question can be settled by looking for a “brb – laundry” in my timestamped instant messenger logs. But sometimes i am not lucky, and there’s still that question of 15 minutes anyway.
oh i forgot to make the other joke. i wish i could say i was always doing that instead of the other thing where i wish i hadn’t said something stupid.
actually this isn’t a joke. in a dream a few years ago now, i imagined life after the miniaturization of time travel, and the various kitchen conveniences this brought about.
the oven. a great deal of life’s inconvenience comes from waiting for food to finish cooking. one can certainly enjoy the preparation of food, but there are many minutes just wasted waiting for things like cookies or roasts to be completely ready to safely eat. a time oven solves this problem. put your casserole in the oven, set the desired temperature and cooking time, and presto – the food is instantly ready, having already been cooking for you for the last 2 hours at 425 degrees. “give it another 15 minutes” is similarly outdated. (interestingly, because of the scheduling logic involved, the additional 15 minutes may happen before the casserole began cooking 2 hours ago.)
the dishwasher. see above, with the added convenience of washing last night’s dishes after eating tonight’s meal, while still having clean dishes tonight.
television and radio. current recording devices supposedly allow you to watch a show whenever you like, but can you watch the show before it is broadcast? i think not. contractual obligations will prevent major manufacturers from allowing a show to be watched before it is filmed, but open source software will prevail i’m sure. however, if you think focus groups are overused now, wait till you see what happens when an entire season can preempt itself.
and so on.
the television writer might have a desktop device that would indicate changes in a particular episode’s future nielsen rating based on the current state of the screenplay. for instance.
But could we retroactively cancel that awful first season without affecting the remainder of the show?
I do think that simple time travel would help a lot in the kitchen, but as with the timers on washing machines, I’m afraid they wouldn’t quite work properly, and not only would my toast be burnt, but it would be burnt yesterday. And my immediate-vintage wine would be raw and vinegary. And I’d have jam yesterday and jam tomorrow but never jam today.
Thanks,
-V.