Paging Dr. Euphemism
I am currently entertaining myself while keeping my mother company in the hospital by reading up on the different emergency codes that come over the loudspeaker, which are intentionally cryptic so as to protect patient privacy and stave off mass panic. The color codes are not standard, aside from Code Red generally meaning “fire”; there are periodic moves to get all hospitals, at least in a region, on the same system. But here are some fun ones (also mostly not standard):
Paging Dr. Firestone: Fire.
Paging Dr. Strong: Someone in [location] is in need of physical restraint
Paging Dr. Brown: Security threat to personnel
Paging Dr. Stork/Dr. Caesar: OB emergency
Paging Dr. Sands: Fire. This comes from public transport in the UK, which has an automated message asking “Inspector Sands” to report to a particular location, in which something is on fire or in danger of being blown up. This, in turn, comes from old theatre slang, in which fire was put out with sand buckets, and so Mr. Sands would be called for so as not to frighten the performers or audience.
