Long day
Thursday morning, I lay in bed wondering if it was really worth the time, expense, and energy required to go to WorldCon. Decided it probably was. Rolled out of bed, checked mail, found one of those "Don't worry, I'm fine" emails that I so dread seeing, and that was how I found out about London.
Some of the things that contributed to making me cry at work today:
- Tiredness. I've been trying to sleep without earplugs, then put in the earplugs when birdsong or other noise wakes me around 4 or 5 a.m., and go back to sleep. I've been able to get back to sleep, but I'm nonetheless coming to the conclusion that I need to switch back to wearing earplugs all night; the interrupted sleep is leaving me frayed.
- London. I'm glad to hear that the sf community appears to have come through unscathed, but I'm sad about the people who died or were injured, and even about those who had to deal with getting across the city without transportation. I spent much of the morning, before going to work, reading about it; looking at MKS's LJ safe lists (A-M and N-Z); being glad to hear the few Londoners I know (and various friends-of-friends) are okay (the odds were in favor of that, of course, but still a relief); thinking about Nick's comment about different reactions among Americans to this attack than to the ongoing bombings in Iraq; thinking about different reactions among Americans to this attack, the September 11 attacks, and the Madrid attack; reading the Socialist Worker's Party statement; and not coming to any conclusions about any of this except the useless one that I'd really really like it if people stopping blowing each other up.
- Hearing that my old friend Bruce's father died last year.
- Talking with someone else and hearing about the horrific things going on with their family lately.
- Spending almost the whole workday working on hiring-related stuff (interview, reading resumes and writing samples, etc) and thus getting very little done on the work project I had hoped to have finished by last week.
- General fragility. Ever since last Thursday's counseling session, I've been back to being more fragile than usual. I got through last weekend without any breakdowns mostly by focusing on Being Productive and getting lots of magazine stuff done, but I'm not at my most even-keeled at the moment.
Some of the things that contributed to making the day a little more bearable:
- Having lunch with Bruce and Sarah, whom I've known longer than anyone else outside my family. I met them in 7th grade, and though we haven't always been in close touch, it's always nice to reconnect.
- Finally finishing filling out and sending in the Hugo ballot. (If any of you are planning to vote but haven't yet, better go vote; the deadline is about 15 hours from now. Note that you'll need your Hugo PIN, so if you don't have that, better write the administrators ASAP.) (Btw, can I just note in passing that the novelette category is full of really good stories? I would be quite satisfied with any of those stories winning. There are a couple of stories I'm sad not to see in that category, but I really like the ones that are there.)
- Phone messages from Karen.
- Kam coming home from Mexico.
- The thought that about fifteen minutes from now I'll probably be asleep.
May tomorrow be a better day. (Especially for those of you for whom it already is tomorrow.)
