Hodgepodge
This section of my site is an assortment of things I’ve created over the past few decades, with no unifying theme. (Plus a few pieces created by other people, as noted.)
I created and posted a lot of this material in the 1990s, with the general idea that if I had written something fun and/or entertaining and/or useful, I might as well post it. In 2023, I moved these pieces from being standalone web pages to being part of my WordPress site; in most cases, I didn’t make any changes other than cosmetic ones.
So some of this material is dated or otherwise no longer relevant. In most cases, I’m leaving it up anyway, mostly just because I hate to see stuff that has appeared online go away.
Some short fiction I’ve written.
The Flood
An erotica story, set in the 1930s, first published in Wet: More Aqua Erotica in 2002.
The Last of the Zeppelins
A pulse-pounding red-blooded two-fisted World War II tale of American hero Hugh Betcha and his trusty ferret Scraps, first published in All-Star Zeppelin Adventure Stories in 2004.
The Secret Life of Humphrey Milquer
An erotica story—a pastiche of “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty”—first published in Clean Sheets in 2000.
All Through the Night
A short-short story about predators at a kind of a never-ending party, first published in BEM in 1990.
Playing Hearts
A brief unpublished piece, written in 1996.
The Crystal Terraces of Sanfra Nabisco
A surreal and odd brief piece, first published in the APA SWAPA in 1990.
A Rose on Lincoln’s Grave
An offbeat fragment in a free-associating, malapropping style. First published in the APA Eyeheart in 1993.
Assorted pieces of software and software-related material.
HTML footnotes
A demonstration of one way to implement footnotes in HTML.
Programming language proposal: C!!!
A proposal for a loud and violent programming language, to be called C!!!
3D graphics in VRML
VRML is the Virtual Reality Modeling Language, a 3D graphics format and language. I was involved in the VRML community in the 1990s; this set of pages includes some VRML models that I made on my own, as well as VRML models for the examples from the VRML book that I co-wrote. You can view all of these models in 3D in your web browser.
Biohazard symbol in PostScript
PostScript code for drawing a biohazard symbol.
Name parser/normalizer
A PHP function that attempts to parse Anglo-style names into separate forenames and surnames.
Turning text upside-down
A Perl program to turn a string of English letters upside-down.
Follow Me!
A bare-bones game based on Simon; the computer displays a sequence of colored lights, and you have to repeat the sequence. Written in JavaScript in 1999, mostly using JavaScript functions supplied by Dreamweaver; still works in 2023.
Magazine fiction budget calculator
A toy calculator that lets you specify various parameters to find out what your budget should be for buying fiction for a magazine.
Old intro to HTML
A simple HTML page containing information on how to create an HTML page. Created in the 1990s.
Essays, math, humor, and other pieces of nonfiction.
Free books and other free stuff
A list of books and other things that I’m giving away. Updated every few months.
Distances and directions
An essay about walking in the snow and missing my mother, written in 1989.
How to host a story reading
Recommendations on how to get people together to read stories aloud to each other.
Tools
Info about tools that I use and recommend for various purposes.
Notes on sleep
For many years, I had various forms of insomnia, and I still occasionally have trouble falling asleep and/or wake up too early and can’t get back to sleep. This page covers some of the things that have and haven’t helped me with that.
Back Up Your Data Day
September 20 is Back Up Your Data Day, a day for doing a backup that you don’t normally do.
A comment, not a question
I strongly disagree with the idea that a panel audience should only ask questions, not make statements.
How to drive in Boston: A survival guide
Tips for driving in Boston, for people who are new to it.
i to the i power
A writeup of a lovely derivation of the value of i to the i power.
Review: Goblin Market, by Christina Rossetti
A review of Christina Rossetti’s poem “Goblin Market,” first published in Clean Sheets in 1998.
Strange Horizons Flashbacks
A retrospective of some of the fiction we published at Strange Horizons during my time as a fiction editor there, from 2000 through 2012.
Guide to John Rogers’s Leverage posts
A link to my spreadsheet that lists all of Rogers’s Leverage-related blog posts.
Guide to Joanna Russ’s published short fiction
A link to my spreadsheet listing all of Russ’s published short fiction.
Mary Anne and Jed’s critiquing guidelines
A guide to giving good critiques in a writing workshop, by Mary Anne Mohanraj and Jed Hartman.
My unread-books project
Overview and current status.
Some responses to Omelas
A list of fiction pieces that respond to Le Guin’s “The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas.”
Where are all the dreamers that I used to know?
A two-part essay arguing both in favor of pursuing your dreams and in favor of being happy with what you have.
Sovietism and Americanism
A parody of an essay by Matthew Arnold; written for a high school English class.
Hugo statistics
A couple of pages with Hugo Award-related statistics.
San Francisco Bay Area attractions and tourist stuff (all-audiences version)
A list of some stuff that I consider worth seeing and doing in the SF Bay Area, without the NSFW/adults-only items.
Laws and sayings
Hartman’s Law of Prescriptivist Retaliation and other laws.
Classics recast into high school settings
A link to my spreadsheet that lists classic works adapted into modern high school settings.
Prestigious unthemed original-anthology sf series
A link to my spreadsheet that lists high-profile unthemed series of original sf anthologies.
My most widely distributed work
An unofficial list of the things I’ve written or co-written that have probably had the widest audiences.
Chain letters and forwarding mail
Marriage equality status
In 2014-2015, this page was an attempt to stay up-to-date on the status of marriage equality in many US states. This page became irrelevant after the US Supreme Court recognized marriage equality throughout the country in 2015; I’m leaving it up for historical purposes.
Movie list
My ratings and reviews for movies I saw in and before 1999.
Old HTML authoring tips
A set of HTML authoring tips from 1997, preserved for historical purposes.
Old tips on websurfing and troubleshooting HTTP servers
A set of tips from 1996, preserved for historical purposes.
Poems and filks and such.
Three “tall tales” that I wrote for the alt.callahans newsgroup.
Brief pieces I’ve written as writing exercises.
Fishers
A ten-minute timed writing exercise about fisherfolk.
Small and Cold
A ten-minute timed writing exercise about small cold beings.
Let There Be Darkness
A ten-minute timed writing exercise about the end of the world.
Screaming Clay
A ten-minute timed writing exercise about kids being cruel to their toys.
Louise
A ten-minute timed writing about the aftermath of a relationship. (Content warning for ominous hints at domestic violence.)
Pieces that I didn’t create, but am hosting.