Virtues

21 Comments

I have a vague idea there was a discussion about this in someone's blog at some point (Vardibidian's, maybe?), but if so I can't find it. So I'll ask it as a question here:

What are some of your favorite virtues, and/or ones that are most important to you? They don't have to be virtues you possess; they can be ones you admire in others.

I could try to list mine, but I think I'll wait a bit and see what y'all say first. I'm mostly thinking of abstract virtues (like Honesty, Bravery, Thrift, Respect, etc), but if you have other sorts of answers, go ahead and post 'em.

As usual, if you're reading this in LJ and want to comment, please follow the link to my journal page and post any comments there.

21 Responses to “Virtues”

  1. Lola

    Honesty’s good. Clarity. Compassion. Silence (at least the ability to be silent sometimes). Gentleness. Acknowledgement.

    reply

  2. Daniel Abraham

    Funny you should ask. I have my cardinal virtues and thier definitions to hand:

    Clarity: being in touch with the world around you, understanding what the situation really is. Without clarity, anything you do that has the desired effect is happy coincidence.

    Integrity: Idiosyncratic definition here. Being of one mind, or not being at war with yourself.

    Humility: Understanding what the stakes really are and how important your role in them is. Usually it’s nowhere near as critical as it feels. Humility is neccessary for self-forgiveness. (Trungpa also calls this “sense of humor”.)

    Grace: The polar opposite of melodrama. Moving through the world with the least unneccesary turbulence.

    reply

  3. Jacob

    Empathy: Understanding at a gut level that the people I interact with and who are affected by my actions are, truly, people in exactly the same way that I am a person. Except, of course, with their own totally idiosyncratic needs, desires, pleasures, problems.

    reply

  4. Haddayr

    Honesty and a kind heart.

    reply

  5. Dave Schwartz

    Engagement, with the people and the world around you. Tolerance for same. Curiosity about the new and the unfamiliar. Honesty. Humor.

    reply

  6. Amy

    Rationality. Pride.

    Productivity. Generosity.

    Efficiency. Humor. Energy. Strategy. Diligence.

    I have a vague notion you could define each of the first four in terms of Integrity (integrity of thought, integrity of self, integrity of action, and integrity of relation, or something), so I guess also Integrity. ::grin:: By “Energy” I mean something like the opposite of laziness, like “doing harder things now for bigger payoffs later as opposed to easier things now for lesser payoffs later”. I’d like to find a better word for that – Forethought? Gumption?

    reply

  7. Amy

    Ack! Left off Justice! I don’t *actually* believe that’s like karmically wishing for something unfair to happen to me now, but it definitely made me a bit uneasy. Perhaps I will stipulate that mine is by no means a complete list. ::grin::

    reply

  8. Mary Anne Mohanraj

    Compassion. Courage.

    reply

  9. Thida

    Courage, perseverance, generosity, flexibility

    reply

  10. David Moles

    Curiosity, hope, charity, insight, compassion, and ice cream.

    reply

  11. Hannah

    The first thing that comes to mind is ‘paying attention.’ Which isn’t quite what you’re asking for and also kind of a cheat, because I think that most of my other favorites follow from it. But it was my first thing.

    Second thing: loyalty.

    Other things. Compassion. Fairness and honesty, with others and with oneself. Resilience. Humility and confidence in roughly equal doses. Independence, but that’s a wobbly one: too many ways to bend it, not all of them good. Self-possession, maybe.

    And I wouldn’t have thought of it from just the question, but Lola said and I went, “Yes!” An understanding, at least, of silence and stillness.

    And dog-personness.

    reply

  12. Jess

    Charity/compassion is tops. I think everything else comes from that, as much of a cliche as it is.

    reply

  13. Anonymous

    My favorites are pride, envy, gluttony, lust, wrath, avarice, and sloth.

    (All the standbys were already taken so I figured to mix things up.)

    Interesting definition of integrity from Daniel. I like the (almost cliche) definition, “integrity is how you behave when no one is looking.”

    And finally, Jed, am I allowed to re-visit a prior topic here? Pesto. Yesterday for lunch, I went to one of those absurd Beverly Hills hotel poolside restaurants, surrounded by entertainment industry wanna-be’s and b-listers, and I had some outrageously good macadamia nut pesto on soba with jumbo shrimp. I have never even thought of macadamia nut pesto. What’s next, filbert pesto? Hazelnut pesto? I think the name of the restaurant was Blue Blue.

    reply

  14. jay

    oops, that last comment is from me, didn’t mean to be anonymous.

    reply

  15. Jed

    Thanks, all! Keep ’em coming; I’m finding this really interesting. (The ones that aren’t Traditional Abstract Virtues as much as the ones that are.)

    I haven’t thought it through completely yet, but I think my incomplete primary list of virtues includes (in no particular order):

    Integrity; Honesty; Empathy (what Jacob said—and a lot of sub-virtues follow from that one, in my worldview); Awareness of Complexity; Tolerance; Wisdom. (Does Wisdom count? I think it’s more an attribute to be applied to someone than something one can choose for oneself. One can choose to behave with integrity; can one choose to behave wisely?)

    I guess I have a second-tier list, too, that includes all sorts of stuff: Sense of Humor, Gentleness/Kindness/Compassion/Willingness to Forgive (do those necessarily follow from Empathy? not sure), Perspective (akin to Daniel’s definition of Humility), Eloquence, Willingness to Compromise (which I think has some connection with the Quaker approach to Consensus), Willingness to Communicate, Generosity, Self-Restraint, Carefulness/Prudence, Patience, Playfulness, Mindfulness, Competence, Diligence, Craft. Self-confidence? (It’s attractive, but do I consider it a Virtue per se? Maybe only if tempered by awareness of one’s own’s fallibility.) Fortitude? (Strength to withstand hardship, maybe?)

    Interestingly, my gut-level definition of Integrity seems to include changing your mind when you encounter new evidence that’s compelling enough to override your old worldview. I always thought of Dr. Koop’s change of stance about AIDS as demonstrating a lot of integrity, even though integrity isn’t normally associated with changing your mind. Maybe I really mean Principledness? Being willing to stand up for what you believe in? (And yes, I consider it a virtue even when practiced by people I disagree with. At least up until the point when they start killing people.)

    I find it interesting that people (including me) aren’t mentioning certain things traditionally considered virtues. Faith, for example. Chastity. Moderation/Temperance. Loving others. Meekness/Mildness. Longanimity/Long-Sufferingness (there must be a better word for that, but I’m not really awake). Modesty.

    …This isn’t exactly what I was thinking of, but it occurs to me that things can have virtues in a context: for example, roundness is a cardinal virtue of wheels, and Good Writing is a cardinal virtue for a story.

    And I have some favorite virtues for certain things other than people. For example, Transparency (in the sense of being open about what’s going on behind the scenes) is probably more a virtue for organizations than for individuals, and Elegance (in the math/CS sense) is more an attribute of designs or implementations than of people.

    reply

  16. Jenn Reese

    Honesty, Open-mindedness, Kindness, Integrity, Courage. I also find Passion to be a virtue.

    Friendship is my religion, but I can’t find a way to sum it up as virtue.

    reply

  17. Wendy Bradley

    Generosity. Empathy is no use without it. “I understand completely that you’re unhappy, but alleviating that unhappiness would require me to get up and put my arm round you and, frankly, I can’t be arsed just at the moment”

    reply

  18. Vardibidian

    I think it was me, although we may be remembering a similar discussion of vices. Elie Wiesel, in one of his lectures, pointed out that it is much easier to define and enumerate those things you are against, and those negatives can help clarify your values. For instance, if you are against, say, ignorance, then it’s pretty clear that you value—what—knowledge? curiosity?

    Anyway, my own values (and I’m cribbing from above, as originality ain’t high on my list) begins with compassion, humility and creativity, and also includes curiosity, long-sightedness and cheerfulness.

    Also, I think to a certain extent Meekness/Mildness is an attribute of Humility, or conversely the lack of M/M indicates a lack of H. I’m surprised Honesty is so high on so many people’s list; I think it’s over-rated myself. Of course (as you point out) there is context to these, there are many occasions where Honesty is terribly important, and many others where I don’t think it is. The interesting thing is where these collide, where (for an obvious example) kindness collides with honesty, or where humility/perspective collides with creativity. I think it’s a good idea to muse on the values and vices, and actually to rank them in a general sort of way, so you are prepared for tough ethical situations.

    Thanks,
    -V.

    reply

  19. Jessi Lancaster

    To be aware. Contagious. Self-disciplined. Approachable. Imaginative. To live with a soft step and comfortable touch.

    reply

  20. Cedric P.

    The virtue and value of a clear mind possessing reason and logic, as well as a healthy body, have been extolled as the best virtues a person can have since antiquity. The art of having to balance life and all of its tribulations is tricky enough without having the added burden of finances, so that’s why it is important to know your options. If you have a cash crunch and don’t want to use credit cards, you can use a payday loan. However, make sure you have all your options in mind, including a payday loan, as that is a sign of a clear mind.

    reply

  21. Jed

    Hee–that was my favorite spam comment in ages, so I left it in place. (But I replaced the URL, so it no longer links to the spam website it used to link to.) Who knew that getting a payday loan was one of the cardinal virtues?

    reply

Join the Conversation