Good news, bad news

7 Comments

I've been reading LJ only intermittently for a while now, and apparently I haven't looked at it at all in about a month. This morning, prompted by a note from Jessie S-S, I decided to catch up on my friends list.

It turns out that big stuff has been going on in various people's lives while I wasn't paying attention. Some good news, some bad news.

For one thing, two old friends have announced their engagement. So that's some good news.

But then I saw that another old friend's uncle just died.

And then I got to the posting from two weeks ago when Cat F told us that her mother died.

There have been some good things this year, certainly. But overall, I'm thinking if I could start the year over, I'd do it in a minute.

This makes at least six parents of friends roughly my age who've died in the past year. I know that doesn't make it any more or less likely that any of the rest of y'all will lose parents anytime soon. Still, it makes me want to suggest to those of you whose parents are still around that you consider giving them a call or dropping them a note.

This entry is coming out all wrong. I don't know how to say what I'm trying to say. I'm sitting here crying as I type and I can't make any sense out of things. Death sucks.

And part of me is insisting that death is a natural part of life, yadda yadda. And part of me is calmly, rationally pointing out that good stuff happens and bad stuff happens and it's all mixed together and you don't get to have one without the other, etc etc et fucking cetera. Oh yes, and that there are lots of people the world over who have it much harder than my happy suburban life. And by the way, when my friends' parents die it's not actually about me.

I know all that, but at the moment I don't care. I just—I just want someone to come fix things, to make it all better.

But nobody can.

I'm sorry about your mother, Cat. I wish there was something I could do that would help.

7 Responses to “Good news, bad news”

  1. Anna Feruglio Dal Dan

    As a matter of fact, I woke up this morning after a long elaborate dream in which all sorts of people had come to see me in Italy and we were having a lovely time and blood was gushing up from fountains and then my parents died. I knew it was a dream but I still sort of screamed and then I woke up and I did call my mom, who was of course alive and scared to death because I’m in London and Italian papers are telling everybody that it’s just a matter of time before London gets hit again.

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  2. Haddayr

    yeah, yeah, death is part of life blahkety blah blah blah. Grief makes you deep. That which kills your relatives but leaves you behind only makes you stronger.

    Fuck that. I’m with you. Death sucks.

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  3. Nao

    But overall, I’m thinking if I could start the year over, I’d do it in a minute.

    Yeah, me too. It’s been a pretty rotten year for a bunch of people that I know. And there’s bits of the stress from my life that could have been avoided… other bits, not so much.

    I mean, there’s no way to know that somebody you know is going to catch a flesh-eating variant of Strep A and die within 36 hours of being admitted to the hospital, is there?

    Death is pretty hideous, all round.

    And then I get an email from you, and it helps me feel a little better. (I still need to reply–none of the browsers on my old, old iBook work properly with my webmail program.) And I hear my baby growling (yes, growling!) in joy, and I laugh. But I’m still crying.

    I really want to actually hug all my friends right now.

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  4. Jenn Reese

    I really want to hug Jed. 🙁

    I vote to start over, too.

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  5. Jaipur

    Dude. 🙁 Death sucks, no matter how you wrap it up in fine linen… ::hug hug hug hug hug hug hug:: I’m so sorry it’s been so rough a year for you!

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  6. SarahP

    Take care, Jed.

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  7. Cat F

    (hug) Thank you for your sympathy, Jed. I’m sorry I wasn’t home to reply earlier.

    Death sucks. But I was extraordinarily fortunate in my mother, and very lucky to have her as long as I did.

    Love, Cat

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