Late-night ramblings
Haven't felt much like journaling this week.
Haven't been sleeping well, or enough. The other morning one of my earplugs fell out and I was awoken at 5 a.m. by some kind of loud vehicle or device in the loud-device manufactory behind my house. Last night, dreamed I was going through Peter's house again (though this time it was cleaned up and painted and other people were moving into it, which made it somewhat easier). Tonight, I'm exhausted; I really ought to have gone to sleep an hour or two ago.
Still not sure whether I'm going up to Tacoma a week from Sunday. Did buy plane tickets, on Southwest; if I don't fly that day, I can transfer the ticket price to a later ticket.
Rough day today. Somewhat ameliorated by talks with various friends. And a good editorial meeting. But still pretty rough.
Unrelatedly: forgot to mention that earlier in the week I went to the doctor and had a physical; been meaning to do that for a long time. Turns out I'm in fairly good shape physically. This was my first time seeing my new primary-care doctor, who I'd picked off the website and was dubious about, but she turned out to be great: relaxed and relaxing, friendly, cheerful, gave the impression of knowing what she was talking about. Reassuring. (I'd been having this weird pain in the right side of my chest on and off for weeks; she said that from a doctor's point of view, chest pain is divided into heart-related and non-heart-related, and they aren't especially concerned about the non-heart-related kind, and then she listed three or four non-serious things as possible causes.) Gave me a slight nudge toward getting more exercise (which I know I need), but did so in a friendly and non-pushy way (which is definitely what I need). I continue to be amazed at and grateful for my occasional good luck in happening across professionals of various sorts who interact with me in exactly the right way.
Speaking of whom, maybe if I post here that I'm going to make another counseling appointment on Friday, I'll actually follow through on it.
(One of the weird things today: I kept having the feeling that my heart was beating really really fast. I would check my pulse and it would be a little faster than normal but not too bad, but I still kept getting this anxious panicky heart-racing feeling. Possibly related to other recent anxieties—I almost had to leave a meeting at work the other day because I started getting tense about how many people there were in the room. I don't know what that's about—it wasn't a social gathering, I didn't have to actually interact with anyone, but I still got a little claustrophobic or something.)
Also earlier in the week, had the opportunity (thanks again, T!) to meet a fairly big-name sf author. Sadly, my only real opportunity to introduce myself was just as he was rushing off, and the introduction clearly made no impression on him. I've gotten used to people in the parts of the sf world that I frequent having generally at least heard of SH; when I introduce myself at American cons, often there's a spark of recognition of some sort these days. But at this last WorldCon, and in a few other recent contexts, I've introduced myself only to get a blank stare in response. I think sometimes people hear "online magazine" and assume that I'm saying we post unedited crap. Alas. I think the key is probably to stop trying to use a single phrase ("I'm a fiction editor for an online magazine called Strange Horizons") and start giving more information up front.
What else? Saw some more West Wing episodes with Kam last night. I haven't been as impressed with season 3 so far as with the previous seasons, but I really liked one of last night's episodes: "Stirred," the alcoholism episode. Well done. Or at least, did a good job of hitting a particular tone and general structure/approach that tend to appeal to me a lot.
And the guy who delivered my couches the other week came and took away my old futon and frame this morning; his father had been wanting a futon, I'd been wanting mine to find a good home, so that worked nicely. And my living room is now navigable again. And I did some dishes tonight and cleaned off part of the "dining room" table, for the first time in quite a while.
Oh, and Plantgirl (via Kam) returned my copy of Phantom Tollbooth (I've had it since 5th grade) and loaned me a couple of Jennifer Crusie books (reprints of her older category romances) that I hadn't encountered before; I imagine they'll cheer me up. Thanks much!
So, life's not all bad. But still, I'm hoping for smoother sailing at some point.
