I've once again been in that easily irritated state where minor annoyances can send me off into apocalyptic fits of grumpiness. Sarah P once referred to an irritable state as mullygrubs, a word I'd like to revive (so I posted an entry about it over at Neology, which you can read by following the link). Low spirits, ill temper--yup, I seem to have the mullygrubs.
(I particularly like this word because it's silly. It's hard to say "I have the mullygrubs" with a straight face. It's practically magic when saying the name of a condition helps to cure it.)
Another symptom of this state, for me, is feeling disconnected from people. I had very little time alone these past few days--a nice visit from O & D from Thursday to Saturday, then a surprise birthdayish party for T (whose birthday was a couple months ago; it's complicated), then an evening and morning at home alone doing mostly magazine stuff, then hanging out with Twig Sunday afternoon, then Bodyworlds and dinner with Kam Sunday evening. But despite all the socializing, I'm not feeling very socially connected--for example, at the party I barely talked with T or anyone else, despite not having seen most of the people there in weeks. Mostly I helped T's 3-year-old take photos with my digital camera, which was about the level of intellectual rigor and social interaction I could handle.
Haven't kept up with LJ regularly in months. Haven't responded to many emails that've been waiting for a response for weeks or months. No idea what most of my friends are up to lately.
Partly I blame winter. Skies have been gray. We had a couple of the biggest rainstorms in ages over the past few days; I realize that's nothing compared to what most of the country deals with in the winter (I've been shuddering at the temperatures in Boston and Chicago lately), but that's why I live in California. At least the days are getting longer.
Partly I blame lack of sleep. Not sure what's going on with that. I've been getting plenty of sleep by the clock--usually over 6 hours, often over 7, sometimes over 8 (8 hours of sleep being practically unheard-of for me)--but it's been fitful and interrupted, and I've been waking up groggy and often staying that way for most of the day, then staying up well past the time when I have a hard time keeping my eyes open.
I'm kind of thinking the sleep thing might, for once, be physiological, because the two nights recently when I took NyQuil before going to bed, I slept well and long and woke up feeling refreshed. It's possible I have some kind of minor cold or something; there've been bouts of sniffles and sneezing and such, plus general muzzyheadedness.
Anyway. There've been plenty of good things intermixed with the mullygrubs--did I mention that Kam and I went to see Walking with Dinosaurs last weekend? And there's been good fiction, and good music, and good video entertainments, and good snuggling and frolicking, and hot tubs, and getting to see friends and family, and receiving a bunch of amazing old family photos (I totally forgot to blog about that), and planning a whole bunch of travel starting a couple weeks from now, and playing with the Wii (DDR is pretty good exercise), and all sorts of stuff. And I'm pretty sure that in a few weeks, when the sun comes out, I'll rebalance to my normal optimism.
But for now: mullygrubs.