Recent spam subject line: “10 Reasons Why Your Dog Ignores Your Commands.” I didn’t read the email, but here’s what I assume it said:
- You don’t have a dog.
- Your commands are illegal, and your dog knows not to obey illegal commands.
- Your dog is an anarchist, and doesn’t believe in hierarchies.
- Your dog just doesn’t respect you.
- You forgot to precede your commands with
- You’re speaking a language that your dog doesn’t know.
- Your dog is busy doing more important things, such as eating, sleeping, running, and being distracted by squirrels.
- Your dog is so immersed in a book that they aren’t paying any attention to the world around them.
- You forgot to precede your commands with “Simon says.”
- Your dog is actually a cat.