Yesterday and today

Thank you for all the comments and emails, everyone. Very much appreciated.

(I should clarify something about timing: due to a transitory technical glitch, LiveJournal didn't pick up yesterday's journal entry until sometime in the middle of last night. So for those reading this on LJ, just to be clear, Tuesday the 7th (yesterday as I write this) was the anniversary, not Wednesday.)

Worked at home yesterday. Spent much of the day (on and off) debating whether to send email to co-workers letting them know what was going on. I don't have much social contact with most of them outside of work, and a fair number of people in my group have joined the company in the past year so they weren't around when all that happened, and to some extent it felt like I would be intruding on work-space with personal stuff that belonged to the outside-of-work world. Especially if I were to tell the engineers who I work with, who I have even less contact with than with my fellow tech writers, and whom I've just started working with in the past few months. And anyway I thought I was doing okay, so it didn't seem so necessary to let people know; it felt like it would be an attention-getting thing, "Hey, look at me, I'm having a hard time, pay attention to me!" So I pretty much decided not to send the email about it that I'd written.

Kam (who was very comforting Monday night) was expecting to be busy for a couple hours in the evening, and it sounded like Lola might be free after work, so I made a plan in my head that I would have dinner with Lola. Unfortunately, I didn't actually talk with Lola about that plan.

So around 4 p.m., Kam called to let me know that Lola was sick and didn't want to give me her cold so she wasn't coming up to see me. And then Lola called and said something similar (though she did leave the option open of coming up if I really wanted her to). And even though I knew that was entirely sensible, I fell apart for a while.

And after I more or less put myself back together, I decided that if one small change of plan--for something that wasn't actually a plan in the first place--could throw me that badly, I really needed to give my co-workers some warning that I was going through some difficulties. So I sent out a note, and got back a bunch of kind and supportive notes in response, so that was good.

And then Lola called on her way back from her meeting to check on whether I wanted her to come by, and I said no, I was okay, and we started chatting, and she missed her exit. At which point it was only five minutes out of her way to stop by. So she stopped by and gave me a hug, which was really what I wanted, and then headed home and to get some sleep and try to get over her cold.

So that cheered me up significantly. And Kam came by, and we talked for a while, and we watched Love Actually, which was almost as charming as the first time I saw it, and Kam didn't mind the Christmasy bits. And then we watched a couple of excellent online video segments that I'll post about soon, so all in all it was a nicely distracting evening. (I don't always want to be distracted from sad stuff, but last night it was what I needed.)

Worked at home again today; may do so again tomorrow, we'll see.

. . . Earlier, when I was halfway through writing this entry, Dar Williams came up on the random iTunes rotation:

Look at what happened yesterday; I know that better things are on their way.

--Dar Williams, "Better Things," from End of the Summer

I'm not a big fan of that album or that song, but that line seemed like a good note to end this entry on.

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