Funny spam

Got an amusing piece of spam this morning--though I imagine it's not so amusing to people who don't know much about computers. Here it is, with a couple of redactions:

From: "COOL girl" <>
Subject: how are you doing?do you Remember me?
Date: Fri, 9 Mar 2007 00:00:45

hi there
       i am sorry friend,i am not a good man,i am a Viral disseminator,
so when you open and seeing this email,My virus already implanted your 
computer,i  want nothing,i just want a few money,so you must send 
30 US dollar to my E-GOLD  account,if you If you cant do 
it, I will let your computer will be paralysed and appear the pornographic 
procedure, so dont have to crack a joke to me, because your computer will 
be damage.
       this is my E-GOLD account: 3922379
       i just can wait you 7days,so when the time over and i dont have get
the money,your computer will be paralysed and appear the pornographic procedure.
       call me at  [email address elided by Jed]  when you send the money to me.
       i wait you my dear :)

I'm removing the "call me at" email address because there's always a chance that it's the address of an innocent person and the spammer just decided to include it to mess with that person. I'm also leaving out the Chinese (or possibly Japanese, but there's no kana so I doubt it) text that appeared at the end of the email, 'cause I have no idea what it says. It contains a URL in Western letters, but the URL doesn't work; appears to be something that was hosted at a Chinese (?) service provider.

I reported it to e-gold (which, btw, looks wackier than I thought; apparently all their assets are in actual precious metals, and you can't get an account there without going through a third party that'll convert your real-world money to e-gold?), but it's possible that even the e-gold account number is fake, and that the real point of the spam is to drive traffic to the spammer's website at the URL that I'm leaving out.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to seven days from now, when "appear the pornographic procedure." I wonder what kind of pornographic procedure it will be.

5 Responses to “Funny spam”


    Call the cops and this could be the opening scene of a pornographic procedural.

  2. Anonymous


  3. Pino

    Its an african, they say anything to get you to send them money, all lies. Sometimes they say they were kidnapped and forced under punishment of death to get money from american via-web. Sometimes they pretend to be a sales person, (and they will ‘sell’ you pretty much anything)

  4. Jed

    Pino: What a weird comment. What makes you think this particular piece of spam was sent by an African? There’s no evidence for that, and in fact there’s evidence against it, unless it was a Chinese-speaking African. And this particular spam is completely unlike the so-called “Nigerian 419” scam that you appear to be referring to. Your comment is so generic that I suspect you didn’t read the entry, which would suggest that your comment is itself spam, except that you didn’t include a URL so you don’t seem to be selling anything.

    …While I’m here, I should note that my initial reading of your comment led me to think you were saying that all Africans would say anything to get you to send them money. On further reflection, I’m guessing you probably meant only that African spammers will lie to get money–but that’s still a weird thing to say, given that spammers from anyplace on Earth lie to get money, almost by definition. Your comment is kind of like saying “African murderers kill people!” So on the off chance that you comment further, please be more careful in your phrasing.

    Unrelated addendum/PS to the entry itself: It’s been nearly two years since I got that email, and still appear the pornographic procedure hasn’t! I feel cheated!

  5. Wayne

    Hello guys, I just launched a web site few days ago that tries to gather the funniest SPAM emails ever. You can sumbit yours and rate/comment other’s.

    URL is


Join the Conversation