Archive for Puns


A pun from Facebook: Studies show that cows produce more milk when the farmer talks to them. It's a case of “in one ear and out the udder.” (A quick web search suggests that various versions of this joke have been around for a while and have no clear author, so I’ll leave it unattributed.)

To an eel

The headline of this New York Times article did its job by getting me to click through to the article: When an Eel Climbs a Ramp to Eat Squid From a Clamp, That’s a Moray But that’s not all. The article includes three brief videos. Here are their captions: When an eel wants a squid […]


A friend posted a photo of some post-Passover leavened bread products. To which Michael Bernstein replied: When are yeast colonies gonna RISE UP, RISE UP (Quoted with permission.) Now I kinda want to see a whole Hamilton parody in which all of the characters are food items.

Rara avis

I hear that when Arrakis was being colonized, the colonizers brought with them a wide array of North American songbirds. Most of those thrived, but one particular blue bird never did very well, and quickly became endangered. Which is how we get the old saying “What is so rare as a jay in Dune?”

No vacation

I told my suitcases that there will be no vacation this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage. I’m not sure who came up with that joke. The earliest attribution that I’ve seen so far is to Ed Dixon, on Facebook, on May 6, 2020, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that wasn’t the first […]

Hair and time

I’ve been growing out my hair. KTO saw how long it’s gotten during a video call, and the following exchange ensued (approximately): KTO: Is that the longest your hair has been in at least a decade? Me: Or longer! I meant that as longer than a decade, but after I said it, I was pleased […]

Terraforming Mars

A year ago, I posted this on Facebook: There are Cthulhu-related versions of various boardgames; see, for example, Pandemic: Reign of Cthulhu. If there’s ever a Cthulhu version of that game about making another planet more livable, I hope they call it Terrifying Mars. And I added a comment suggesting that Terrafying would also be […]

Job title of the week

At first I thought this line in a Verge article was a typo: “According to one cryptogopher working at Google,…” I also thought that cryptogopher sounded like a great superhero name. “Look, down in the ground! It’s Cryptogopher!” But it turns out that Filippo Valsorda describes himself as Cryptogopher @Google in his Twitter profile. I […]


I just finished reading Prof. Peter Schickele’s 1976 book The Definitive Biography of P.D.Q. Bach, which I’ve been glancing over occasionally ever since I encountered it on my father’s bookshelf as a kid, but which I had never read in full before. (Even reading just the titles of some of the PDQ Bach pieces—especially the […]