California Winter: The Album

It occurred to me Sunday morning, after being awakened by a windstorm that was related to the flooding that's happening up north of here, that there ought to be an album of Northern California-specific winter-holiday music.

Some of the tracks might include:

  • Let It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain (I suppose in Southern California it's "Snort the Snow, Snort the Snow, Snort the Snow")
  • I'm Dreaming of a Green Solstice
  • Baby, It's Mildly Chilly Outside (I know, I know, it doesn't scan)
  • Grandma Just Came Over With Some Raingear (or maybe "Grandma Got Run Over in the Rain, Dear," but that sounds a little grimmer than would be ideal for a holiday album)

But Northern California isn't all about weather. Here are some other possible tracks:

  • I Saw Mommy Surfing Santa Cruz
  • Build the Deck with Planks of Redwood (or maybe that should be "Deck the Halls with Eucalyptus"?)
  • O Tannin Wine
  • The Little Hacker Boy
  • The Holly and the Wood (I guess that's another SoCal song)
  • All I Want for Christmas Is My I.P.O.
  • Angels We Have Heard Are High ("...tell us where we too can buy.")
  • Away with the Ravers
  • Carol with the Bells (Carol being a drag queen, of course--along with her friends Suzy (Snowflake), Joy (to the World), and Mary (Little Christmas))
  • O Little Vale of Silicon
  • We Three Kings of Industry Are
  • Women's Underwear (to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

I was trying to come up with alternate lyrics for "Up on the Housetop" involving escaping from a flood (there are all sorts of California-appropriate rhymes for "flood," like "bud" and "mud"), but I'm not really awake yet, and I suppose it would be in poor taste anyway.

I'm obliquely reminded that my father told me a joke long ago to which the punch line was "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

And that I was very tickled a few weeks ago when I came up with the phrase "Carol, the ancient Yuletide troll," until I discovered that someone else had beat me to it. But I think my favorite Christmas pun is still the kids'-book title Olive, the Other Reindeer.

3 Responses to “California Winter: The Album”

  1. Karen

    I didn’t realise it had been a book first, but “Olive, the Other Reindeer” is a weirdly neat little movie too, with Drew Barrymore and Michael Stipe and I forget who else, but some of the Simpsons people are involved too, including Matt Groening. Lots of fun.

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  2. Karen

    PS. “I Saw Mommy Surfing Santa Cruz” cracks me up. But more in keeping with the theme of the original might be “I Saw Daddy Cruising Santa Claus”?

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  3. Anonymous

    I am most amused by “Away with the Ravers”.

    reply

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