California Winter: The Album

It occurred to me Sunday morning, after being awakened by a windstorm that was related to the flooding that's happening up north of here, that there ought to be an album of Northern California-specific winter-holiday music.

Some of the tracks might include:

  • Let It Rain, Let It Rain, Let It Rain (I suppose in Southern California it's "Snort the Snow, Snort the Snow, Snort the Snow")
  • I'm Dreaming of a Green Solstice
  • Baby, It's Mildly Chilly Outside (I know, I know, it doesn't scan)
  • Grandma Just Came Over With Some Raingear (or maybe "Grandma Got Run Over in the Rain, Dear," but that sounds a little grimmer than would be ideal for a holiday album)

But Northern California isn't all about weather. Here are some other possible tracks:

  • I Saw Mommy Surfing Santa Cruz
  • Build the Deck with Planks of Redwood (or maybe that should be "Deck the Halls with Eucalyptus"?)
  • O Tannin Wine
  • The Little Hacker Boy
  • The Holly and the Wood (I guess that's another SoCal song)
  • All I Want for Christmas Is My I.P.O.
  • Angels We Have Heard Are High ("...tell us where we too can buy.")
  • Away with the Ravers
  • Carol with the Bells (Carol being a drag queen, of course--along with her friends Suzy (Snowflake), Joy (to the World), and Mary (Little Christmas))
  • O Little Vale of Silicon
  • We Three Kings of Industry Are
  • Women's Underwear (to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

I was trying to come up with alternate lyrics for "Up on the Housetop" involving escaping from a flood (there are all sorts of California-appropriate rhymes for "flood," like "bud" and "mud"), but I'm not really awake yet, and I suppose it would be in poor taste anyway.

I'm obliquely reminded that my father told me a joke long ago to which the punch line was "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

And that I was very tickled a few weeks ago when I came up with the phrase "Carol, the ancient Yuletide troll," until I discovered that someone else had beat me to it. But I think my favorite Christmas pun is still the kids'-book title Olive, the Other Reindeer.

3 Responses to “California Winter: The Album”

  1. Karen

    I didn’t realise it had been a book first, but “Olive, the Other Reindeer” is a weirdly neat little movie too, with Drew Barrymore and Michael Stipe and I forget who else, but some of the Simpsons people are involved too, including Matt Groening. Lots of fun.

  2. Karen

    PS. “I Saw Mommy Surfing Santa Cruz” cracks me up. But more in keeping with the theme of the original might be “I Saw Daddy Cruising Santa Claus”?

  3. Anonymous

    I am most amused by “Away with the Ravers”.


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