Archive for Favorite/Important Entries

n love languages

Gary Chapman’s five love languages paradigm categorizes the kinds of things that make people feel loved/valued. Here’s the original list: receiving gifts quality time words of affirmation acts of service physical touch I find this general paradigm useful—the idea that different people have different modes and approaches that make them feel valued—but I want to […]

Exasperation isn’t necessarily the same thing as sympathy

[Note: This post is not in response to any particular instance; it’s about a longstanding pattern.] For many years, I’ve been seeing a certain specific kind of response to people expressing pain, and I’d like to respectfully ask people to think carefully about it before giving this particular kind of response. The pattern goes something […]

Of his time

When I criticize someone in the past for having done something that I consider bad by my own modern standards, I often get pushback from friends who say things like: “He was just a man of his time. [Alternative phrasing: a product of his time.] You can’t/shouldn’t judge him by modern standards!” (I’m using he […]

Assorted insights

A day of interesting-to-me insights and thoughts. But no time/energy to write them up in any detail, so a couple of notes-to-self as reminders (each of these could be a full entry in itself if I had time and if I were more awake): This morning, it suddenly occurred to me while I was driving […]