Archive for Relationships
I’ve seen a few criticisms of the “love languages” concept recently, mostly in the form of people taking for granted that it’s a bad and useless concept. And that keeps puzzling me, because the idea that different people have different modes and approaches that make them feel valued seems straightforwardly and obviously true to me. […]
This past Tuesday, Mary Anne broke up with me, ending a relationship that lasted a little over 26 years. The relationship has been on rocky ground for at least the past two years, during which time we’ve been doing couples therapy. (We didn’t talk publicly about our 25th anniversary, in late 2022, because it would’ve […]
Short version of this post: I’m in Oak Park for the next couple months. Longer version: After months of uncertainty and waffling, I decided to come to Oak Park to see Mary Anne and Kat. I’m not going to go into detail here about my whole thought process leading up to that decision. I will […]
Gary Chapman’s five love languages paradigm categorizes the kinds of things that make people feel loved/valued. Here’s the original list: receiving gifts quality time words of affirmation acts of service physical touch I find this general paradigm useful—the idea that different people have different modes and approaches that make them feel valued—but I want to […]
I have several half-written posts about polyamory and what it means to me, but those aren't likely to be in...
Today is Mary Anne's and my 18th anniversary. Happy anniversary, Mary Anne! I'm not feeling creative enough to write anything...
A week ago was May 1. I meant to write something here about Kam that day, and then every day...
Theodore Sturgeon's 1951 story “Rule of Three” (spoilers!) features two tripartite energy beings who embed themselves in six humans, and...
Yesterday was Mary Anne's and my fifteenth anniversary. I've been thinking about relationships, and about Wendell Berry's poem “The Country...
Today is Mary Anne's and my fifteenth anniversary. I'll be heading off to Chicago for a few days this afternoon....
It occurred to me Sunday evening that it's been fifteen years (plus a week) since the end of my Wanderjahr....
Good stuff from Mary Anne about how to leave room for a polite no when flirting or otherwise expressing interest...