Archive for Funny

Bear and bar

A bear walks into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer ……… and a whiskey.” The bartender says, “Why the big pause?” I had never heard that before, and I laughed out loud when I ran into it online the other day. Turns out it’s widely enough known that there’s even a song based […]

Hallelujah

On Tumblr a year or two back, in a discussion of Leonard Cohen’s song “Hallelujah,” user bigscaryd noted that the phrase “tag your favorite line of hallelujah” scans to the meter of the song. Which led to other people creating new meta-verses to the song. Like this from animatedamerican: you tried to read the words […]

Auto-translating sound effects

A friend recently posted (to Facebook) a video of an animal eating something, and added the following text as a commentary/description for the video: MONCH MONCH MONCH Facebook offered to translate that for me. I accepted the offer. Facebook’s translation read as follows: Monch monch monch monch monch monch It then offered to let me […]

Trek house rules

For a long time, I’ve been intermittently collecting fortune-cookie fortunes that I find entertaining with phrases like in bed or between the sheets added. The other day, Kam came up with a new-to-us variation: adding between the sheets after lines of dialogue in Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes. I didn’t write down any examples […]

Book-throwing quote

I recently had occasion to quote the line “It is not a book to be lightly thrown aside. It should be thrown with great force,” a variant of which I had always seen attributed to Dorothy Parker. But it’s my sad duty today to inform you that Parker may not have originated this joke. A […]

Cargo space

Cute joke: [first day as car salesman] Customer: Cargo space? Me: Car no do that. Car no fly. Manager: Can I see you in my office?— THE Burger King (@ABurgerADay) July 14, 2017 Not sure if that tweet is the origin of the joke, but it’s the earliest-dated version of it that I’ve found.

myrrrrh

I saw a license plate a week or two ago that said MYRRRRH. Or maybe it was only three Rs, not sure. Either way, I liked it. My first thought was that it represented the sound of an engine smoothly purring. Later, I thought it might be a company name, or a band name, or […]

Pants revisited

(This post is more or less NSFW.) Back in column III (which includes some NSFW material), I wrote about a game in which you replace words from Star Wars quotations with the word pants. Years later, I came across a list of the Top 278 Star Wars Lines Improved By Replacing A Word With “Pants”. […]